Sunday, July 24, 2011

Trying not to be mad.

I'm sitting here, updating my cake blog with more cakes than I thought, and I have been fascinated with how large the freckles are on my knuckles! Seriously, the things my brain comes up with...

The bishop pulled Mark in to an interview after church today. Among some other things, they talked about William in primary. I know he is active, he is just like Oren was at this age! I know he has a hard time sitting still, and that most people have a hard time keeping his attention. Trust me, I know this with every fiber of my being. So why did the bishop feel the need to tell us that we need to work with William on sitting still at home? If I knew what would calm him down, I'd do it!

Actually, I do know. But he is too young for the doctor to be comfortable diagnosing him or medicating him like Oren, and so we are playing a waiting game right now.

But can they honestly say that they have talked to all the other parents of the boys in his class? There are 5 of them in there, all active. His first teacher was great with him, but now he has another one and she doesn't have the patience the other sister did. No, I'm not blaming the teacher. But it hurt so much to be judged by Oren's behavior before we could get him the help that he needed, and now it's happening again.

I want to tell the bishop to put me in as pianist in the primary, so that I can help keep an eye on him, because that helped with Oren. Except I'm scared they'd ask me to teach and I deal enough with my own children to be all patient and loving with others for those 2 hours. I don't even offer to watch the neighbors kids unless the mom has to run to the post office for 5 minutes or something and all the kids are playing outside. Then I'm just a responsible adult to tend to bloodied knees or hurt feelings until mom comes back.

Why is it that I have these particular children with their many challenges? Why do I have to justifiy and explain why I do things a certain way to people that see them only rarely? Why can't people just focus on the good my kids do?

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

A little bit of everything...

My blogging has been a bit uninspired lately, and I'm okay with that. I don't have any big emotional breakthroughs. Or fantastic news. Or even the depths of despair going on. (Which I'm definitely okay with.) So I'll just update with a little bit of what has been happening here.

1. We headed over to my dad's for the Law family reunion last weekend. I have no pictures because I was chasing Daniel most of the reunion and left the camera in the car. But Dad went with me to the Nature Center there in Boise and helped me wrangle kids around, and took some pictures for me. So at some point I'll get those from him and post my kids ogling fish. :-)

Steph and Jeff were there and it was so nice to spend time with my sister and her sweet kiddos. Thomas's curls really are the awesomest, as is his reaction to her putting some mousse in them! "Wash it off! Wash it off!" Too funny... Audrey and Daniel toddled around after each other, babbling and talking, with Daniel giving some exuberant hugs that weren't so well received at times. At just 6 weeks apart they are hilarious to watch!

2. My house was magically cleaned by little pixies while I was gone. The drive home was so long and tiring, and I kept thinking about all the stuff I hadn't gotten done before we left town for the weekend. My floors were vacuumed, toys were picked up, laundry put away... Of course, I have been finding the laundry in random drawers that belong to the wrong person, but at least it's off the couch! Like a game of "seek and find", it could be lots of fun to figure out where everything is.

3. A neighbor came by yesterday morning to order a cake, and informed me that my kitten was definitely a boy. I thought there was something off about certain bits, but it had looked very female when we got it! We had a good laugh, and are now trying to get used to thinking "he" rather than "she".

4. This neighbor also didn't even flinch when I quoted her a price for the cake she wanted. I told her at the start what I charge per serving, base price for a last minute cake. Maybe that helped? She's supposed to bring me the money today so I can get the supplies I need, I won't turn on my oven without at least 50% of the total. But at least she didn't whine about the cost, she used to do cakes herself and knows how much time they can take, even "simple" ones.

5. Mark is doing finals this week! That means the semester is nearly over! And that we can finally spend some time with him not being grouchy over homework! We can spend time with him period!!!!! He'll be going back to full-time work hours, but that's okay. Better than the 10-14 hour days he's been putting in for school.

6. House-hunting. Not going too well. Our lease is up in October, at which point we could move if we wanted to. It's a year lease that reverts back to a month-to-month, so we don't have to find another place right away. BUT..... I don't know how much longer I can stand apartment living. Cramped and crowded, noisy neighbors, dogs pooping all over the grass my kids play on, tenant drama. We are ready for our own space to call home. This apartment is partially income-based, so it's actually a good deal, but it's still an apartment. Rent for a home in a good location for Mark's work/school commute would be way out of our reach for a long time. The only thing that would be cheaper for us is to actually buy a house if we could get one for a good price.

But on his income we don't even know if that's possible. So we are gathering up the needed paperwork in preparation for seeking out a home loan once he's done with the semester. That little house I was in love with has some pretty big problems that I'm not sure I could live with, and strangely, I'm not as heartbroken about it as I thought I'd be. After getting back from vacation, we talked about the house and decided that we needed to take things in order. Get done with the semester. See if we even qualify for a loan. Then talk to an agent who can keep an eye out for properties that fit our needs. Our lease will likely end before anything would go through, which means we wouldn't have to break our lease.

It feels good to have a plan. And if we can't get a loan, then we'll have something to work towards! And to start saving for. There's nothing wrong with having a goal, and hopefully the idea of what I'd like will help me get through living where I don't want to.

Sunday, July 10, 2011


Just because I'm very tired, thanks to a certain little boy who ended up in our bed all night. He somehow managed to kick me in the head!

And he gets to take a nap while I don't...

I'm finding myself wishing school would hurry up and get here. Don't get me wrong, I love my children. But with no backyard to send them out in, and tiny bedrooms that aren't great for playing? My house is a disaster 90% of the time. At least the older 2 I can send outside without worrying too much. I've been trying to trust William playing out front or at the playground by himself more, just to get a little break. But it's hard to not panic about him being out there by himself! I've been bringing Daniel out there and hanging out with the other mom's, trying to get some adult conversation in between chasing Daniel back away from the parking lot.

It's nice to talk with the other ladies, but there are some language issues with them not being members. And the cigarette smoke that they try to keep downwind from the kids and myself. We are very ready to be out of these apartments and into our own home. There's one just a few blocks away that is for sale, 4 bedroom and 2 bathroom, basement for cooling in the summer, ceiling fan in the kitchen. Fully fenced backyard with mature trees and plenty of sunshine for a garden. Nice looking paint job, wood floors, intriguing wood details, kitchen cabinets to the ceiling with lots of windows.... A few quirks, which I love, like the rounded entrance. Think: cut a tower in half and put a door on it, then stick that on a house. And a built-in or two.

I want so badly to make some phone calls and look at this house, find out if we can even get a home loan on Mark's salary, and find out what it would cost us to break our lease. Even paying for water/sewer/garbage, which the apartment does right now for us, it would be cheaper a month. Plus it's half again more square footage than our apartment! He wanted to look at houses in Rexburg, but it's a much more expensive place to buy unless you live way out of town or in a mobile home. Which I WON'T buy since they don't appreciate in value at all.

Sigh. Can you tell I'm dying for my own place? (It would even be the same school district for the boys which is great, but would be in a different ward than Grandma and Grandpa. while still being just a couple blocks away.)

Daniel is talking so much lately! Full-fledged sentences too, that even make sense to a situation. Very nice enunciation, no speech therapy for him. This is big because we've had 2 that needed it, and it can be frustrating to deal with. Hard to believe that he's turning 2 this year. My baby, my last one, is growing up.

And aside from that one incident, the kitten is behaving nicely. No more spots on the carpet! She's a lot of fun to have around, very energetic, although it would be nice if she didn't assume that our ankles needed fighting. Daniel just loves to pick her up, much to her chagrin, and William enjoys building toys for her to play with. We've missed having a cat around!

And we're getting excited about later this week, when the kids and I head over to my Dad's place. It's my Mom's side's family reunion this weekend so we're going to go hang out with loads of family. Mark has to stay here because of work and school, we'll miss him. But we survived the last trip over there without him so we should be able to do this week too. And he is so sweet about calling the boys at bedtime to say goodnight and talk about their day. Guess I should get laundry done so I can pack!