tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90174882814186037672024-03-14T02:44:25.321-06:00The Willford FamilyMichellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.comBlogger597125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-71248173970624233532014-04-23T16:54:00.004-06:002014-04-23T16:57:26.523-06:00When it rains...It pours.<br />
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Ran kids to school, finished breakfast, ran Daniel to school, ran to meet the new case manager, had a gloriously peaceful half hour before picking up Daniel. Grabbed him and went for groceries - gluten, dairy, soy and peanut free - for Oren to see what's causing him issues. <br />
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Get call from vice principle in the middle of the store about Oren's tardies and his failing most of his classes. Let him know nobody has been in contact with me (as instructed per his 504 with the school) and that I'm not happy. He promises that the teachers will be in touch, and if any aren't, to call him Friday. <br />
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Get a call right after about William beating up another kid at recess today and wouldn't tell the teachers why. Drop off prescriptions, run pick him up, talk to teacher about what happened. Talked to William - turns out the kid was fighting his friend and he was trying to help. Kudos for being a good friend, not exactly the best way to deal with it. <br />
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Go pick up prescriptions, realize that it's nearly 2:00 and Daniel and I haven't eaten, feed us. Run home, Nathan gets home, CBRS worker comes for William, paperwork signing... Leave again, late, to grab fun little guy I'm babysitting this afternoon from school, run to Oren's school - 20 minutes later than usual - to grab Oren, because the worker wouldn't stop gabbing but I can't be late to get the babysitting boy so Oren had to wait. <br />
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Finally make it back home to a barrage of calls and emails from Oren's teachers, and a surprise one from Nathan's about his math work. Get everything sorted out with missing assignments while Nathan sands his pinewood derby car since the weigh-in is tomorrow. I didn't cut it this year. We bought pre-cut. And I don't feel the least bit guilty.<br />
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There has been chocolate today when I'm supposed to be cutting sugar. And cookies. There may have been cookies. But darn-it-all if I'm just done! I keep telling myself that the Lord knew I could do this. The teachers have been helpful about the missing assignments, one even offered to be at school early tomorrow if Oren could be there and help him get caught up! (Oren's not too happy. I don't care.) <br />
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It's just days like today that make even me wonder how I do it. People ask me all the time. And normally I tell them I breathe, or cherish bedtime, or some other nonsense. But some days I don't even know myself. It just happens. I cry a little. Sometimes a lot. I vent a little. And then I pick myself up, sharpen a couple pencils, and start in on playing catch-up with life.<br />
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I'll put on my big girl pants, go get "hopefully" good new from William's therapist, try to put together a nutritional Oren-friendly dinner, make sure beds have clean sheets, and rub my children down with lavendar, our new nightly ritual. I'll tuck them into bed with a conversation about their day, a hug and a kiss, and an "I love you!" Which I'll mean to the bottom of my toes. Then I'll curl up on the couch with a book, ignoring the new big laundry pile, because I have to, enjoy the quiet. Then I'll go to bed, so I can wake up and do it all over again tomorrow. <br />
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Because when it rains, it pours. And because it's only after the rain that the flowers can truly bloom.Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-90239249981932864722014-01-14T18:27:00.000-07:002014-01-14T18:27:53.215-07:00Life has it's ups and downs...Had a rough doctor appointment for Oren today. Making the decision to put a child on a strong medication like Zoloft is a hard thing to do. But based on how he has been reacting to the over-stimulus of crowded buses and hot classrooms, it was time for an adjustment. And it's the lesser of the evil medications for his age. While I personally know kids on more meds than he is, looking at his pill sorter made me a little teary this afternoon. We are also looking at speech therapy or a home worker to come in and help him learn to deal appropriately with things. <br /><br />I guess it was a good appointment, because we were able to get a number of issues addressed and we have an action plan for how to proceed. But we were hoping to avoid that class of medication for a while longer. And as far as medication goes, I have been told that we are doing amazing at keeping his doses and variety at the minimum effective dose. That's hard work! We've taken things out of their diet, like artificial colors and high-fructose corn syrup, and make sure they eat a variety of nutritious fresh or homemade foods. We are careful about routines and sleep. We give advance notice if at all possible about things like outings or housework... <br />
<br />These are the kinds of days that make me wonder what on earth the Lord saw in me. I had a blessing once that I was to be given "choice spirits to tenderly train and care for". I'm beginning to see, as things develop with the boys, just how choice they are. I pray that I'm doing the right thing by them, and giving them the best chance to succeed in life and become the men that the Lord knows they are capable of being.<br /><br />I am grateful for the medications that are available. I am grateful for the therapies that we have access to, and for a doctor that understands I don't want zombie children. He knows that I'm not expecting miracles, nor am I trying to drug my children because I can't handle it. Not once have I felt judged in his office for asking for the help that both my children and I desperately need! I am grateful for family and friends, and even strangers, who are loving and understanding and patient with my children and myself - who don't judge us on a bad day. <br /><br />Isn't it funny how downs can also be ups?<br />
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<br />Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-34599497601247807162013-12-05T15:15:00.002-07:002013-12-05T15:15:59.951-07:00Thoughts on my children...Can I just say that, sometimes, I hate being right?<br />
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That being said - I was. Oren is officially with William as part of the spectrum of autistic disorders. He is very high functioning, which I knew. The ADHD combined type diagnosis still holds, he has periods of both hyperactivity and is easily wound up, and inattentiveness. One of his original diagnoses was also ODD, oppositional defiant disorder. That was also right. Not severely, just enough to really tick off certain personality types and at least try the patience of his parents on a fairly regular basis.<br />
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I don't know why I put this off for so long, even with the gut feeling about what was really wrong. We just adjusted to how he is I suppose. And once it's official, there's no turning back. But with him being a relatively mild case - it's just combined with some other fun things... his prognosis is excellent. If we can just get him to understand the rules of the game well enough to play it when it matters, then he can be his quirky self when he needs to be.<br />
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Over the last year, there have been more times than I'd like admit that I questioned why these particular children were mine. Oren and William with their disorder. And Nathan with his palette, processing issues, and physical weaknesses. While taken separately, it doesn't seem to be that big of a deal, right? But trying to work with all of their needs, especially when they each deal with things so differently, while making sure that Daniel isn't taking the brunt of the accommodations? That 's where I wonder if I'm doing a good job.<br />
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There are so many people who are patient with my children, even though they don't have to be. So many people who are rooting for them and trying to help them achieve their best. People that truly love and support my children, and their parents. I can never thank them enough. I notice you, and I am grateful. Everytime you talk to me about how you can help them, has the potential to bring tears to my eyes. And often does, when I am recounting the situation to others. <br />
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Someday our home is going to have a sign on the wall that says "I am a Child of God". Only he knows why my children are the way they are. And only he knows the best way to lead them, guide them... I pray that he continues to offer me little glimpses into the souls of these wonderful spirits that he has blessed our family with. Even though we have a lot of difficult and trying days, I am grateful for all that they teach me, and others, about unconditional love.Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-20213404271928671182013-09-15T16:38:00.000-06:002013-09-15T16:38:01.718-06:00Look! Pictures!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I found some pictures! Hurray! Now you can see what we did this summer. :)<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uOV9xPPrOFc/UjYv3PRcAXI/AAAAAAAACYE/smBt17tp-nE/s1600/2013-05-26+18.40.27.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uOV9xPPrOFc/UjYv3PRcAXI/AAAAAAAACYE/smBt17tp-nE/s320/2013-05-26+18.40.27.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My awesome sister-in-law took pictures of the boys this summer. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nPhZeYuyFWQ/UjYwCV98IGI/AAAAAAAACYI/wraRcLLVGAw/s1600/2013-05-26+18.41.13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nPhZeYuyFWQ/UjYwCV98IGI/AAAAAAAACYI/wraRcLLVGAw/s320/2013-05-26+18.41.13.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I took some too. They were goofs. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mAoECo6pAQQ/UjYwGSJaeDI/AAAAAAAACYQ/9IrwjSDfwRw/s1600/2013-05-26+18.43.35.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mAoECo6pAQQ/UjYwGSJaeDI/AAAAAAAACYQ/9IrwjSDfwRw/s320/2013-05-26+18.43.35.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">But HANDSOME goofs!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nTMJgPaBvAg/UjYwPMb57TI/AAAAAAAACYY/JAmGoiEcfIQ/s1600/2013-05-26+18.44.52.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nTMJgPaBvAg/UjYwPMb57TI/AAAAAAAACYY/JAmGoiEcfIQ/s320/2013-05-26+18.44.52.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Even the ones who wouldn't look at the camera.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Ta3aJutb0U4/UjYxBxwN50I/AAAAAAAACYg/Y15XnRB9qsk/s1600/2013-05-03+15.59.17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Ta3aJutb0U4/UjYxBxwN50I/AAAAAAAACYg/Y15XnRB9qsk/s320/2013-05-03+15.59.17.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We got into things we shouldn't. Like Daddy's special marking paint.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Iu--q4ZH8dM/UjYyIZIYiwI/AAAAAAAACYo/5xT24Jd1dMM/s1600/2013-05-28+13.37.35.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Iu--q4ZH8dM/UjYyIZIYiwI/AAAAAAAACYo/5xT24Jd1dMM/s320/2013-05-28+13.37.35.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We ended the school year. How much we learned!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-p_oOUES7Sts/UjYyR6S_ueI/AAAAAAAACYw/E6HK_VFfBsg/s1600/2013-06-11+20.03.25.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-p_oOUES7Sts/UjYyR6S_ueI/AAAAAAAACYw/E6HK_VFfBsg/s320/2013-06-11+20.03.25.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We got to get our faces painted. Which is one of our favorite things to do! </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oBTmqpByJGg/UjYyXAB5vSI/AAAAAAAACY4/pqYEkfKdOew/s1600/1371053260277.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oBTmqpByJGg/UjYyXAB5vSI/AAAAAAAACY4/pqYEkfKdOew/s320/1371053260277.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We took everything out of the pantry.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vmoNAuHUO4M/UjYyXWxoFII/AAAAAAAACY8/oSigc0mGj7U/s1600/1371053945327.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vmoNAuHUO4M/UjYyXWxoFII/AAAAAAAACY8/oSigc0mGj7U/s320/1371053945327.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And put it on the table.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Pd3HPJ5wHRw/UjYyXRnIv0I/AAAAAAAACZE/tp7Hqs4Wd1o/s1600/1371055012623.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Pd3HPJ5wHRw/UjYyXRnIv0I/AAAAAAAACZE/tp7Hqs4Wd1o/s320/1371055012623.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We tore the shelves apart.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-u748pce4AoE/UjYyXgH0FAI/AAAAAAAACZQ/j6Ygsvd67CM/s1600/1371086239642.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-u748pce4AoE/UjYyXgH0FAI/AAAAAAAACZQ/j6Ygsvd67CM/s320/1371086239642.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And we painted.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_jV5p4Iv5UU/UjYybWBrH6I/AAAAAAAACZY/wtDJKsAG5-o/s1600/2013-06-15+13.27.48.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_jV5p4Iv5UU/UjYybWBrH6I/AAAAAAAACZY/wtDJKsAG5-o/s320/2013-06-15+13.27.48.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And we built custom-spaced sturdy ones instead. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TICaQbIjz2k/UjYyoBaCWgI/AAAAAAAACZs/az7d2y8NPWE/s1600/2013-06-19+19.50.09.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TICaQbIjz2k/UjYyoBaCWgI/AAAAAAAACZs/az7d2y8NPWE/s320/2013-06-19+19.50.09.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We got our Wolf Badge.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IXdNm9yTXhE/UjYyn8s_QzI/AAAAAAAACZk/V61vTqb0dvw/s1600/2013-06-19+19.50.46.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IXdNm9yTXhE/UjYyn8s_QzI/AAAAAAAACZk/V61vTqb0dvw/s320/2013-06-19+19.50.46.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And our Webelos. And we are so proud of our hard work!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-o9DOVLyvN80/UjYyr8zwkXI/AAAAAAAACZ4/H0SY_dqQOvw/s1600/2013-06-30+19.06.16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-o9DOVLyvN80/UjYyr8zwkXI/AAAAAAAACZ4/H0SY_dqQOvw/s320/2013-06-30+19.06.16.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We built catapults with Daddy.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TB43uK3eRyE/UjYynzNgyTI/AAAAAAAACZg/FxrudawVV1U/s1600/1372640755767.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TB43uK3eRyE/UjYynzNgyTI/AAAAAAAACZg/FxrudawVV1U/s320/1372640755767.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And knocked stuff down.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XMUUdd3TUNo/UjYy96kyrWI/AAAAAAAACaY/DEQ0671Xc54/s1600/2013-07-06+11.16.38.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XMUUdd3TUNo/UjYy96kyrWI/AAAAAAAACaY/DEQ0671Xc54/s320/2013-07-06+11.16.38.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We got really messy.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pWJ3kzLHSNI/UjYy8tIi6XI/AAAAAAAACaQ/KOy75ZzpCvY/s1600/2013-07-06+11.16.40.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pWJ3kzLHSNI/UjYy8tIi6XI/AAAAAAAACaQ/KOy75ZzpCvY/s320/2013-07-06+11.16.40.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I mean REALLY messy!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sBy6iBGorMY/UjYy7a9I7zI/AAAAAAAACaA/1vgTVl7ZXfE/s1600/2013-07-06+11.17.15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sBy6iBGorMY/UjYy7a9I7zI/AAAAAAAACaA/1vgTVl7ZXfE/s320/2013-07-06+11.17.15.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All of us!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zt_peuH_WNY/UjYzCZ10ohI/AAAAAAAACag/-7df4dZfPWY/s1600/2013-07-26+18.28.13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zt_peuH_WNY/UjYzCZ10ohI/AAAAAAAACag/-7df4dZfPWY/s320/2013-07-26+18.28.13.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We went swimming. And got cold. But the sand was warm.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9opMCdCsMKk/UjYy8YSSdbI/AAAAAAAACaI/c6lt7B1CHHs/s1600/1374879461925.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9opMCdCsMKk/UjYy8YSSdbI/AAAAAAAACaI/c6lt7B1CHHs/s320/1374879461925.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We put a much-needed new roof on the house.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1Xj3Zt88BRE/UjYzI9nuw5I/AAAAAAAACas/5BfZ4mu_kZs/s1600/1377204737044.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1Xj3Zt88BRE/UjYzI9nuw5I/AAAAAAAACas/5BfZ4mu_kZs/s1600/1377204737044.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Some of us got brand new glasses.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TZ6IKCT7SHY/UjYzIxBzgFI/AAAAAAAACao/PLabkGk3nEk/s1600/1377281757173.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TZ6IKCT7SHY/UjYzIxBzgFI/AAAAAAAACao/PLabkGk3nEk/s1600/1377281757173.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And we played at parks!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WMdDqO3VDDo/UjYzJNaCvlI/AAAAAAAACa4/w6loWbgvrzU/s1600/1377359955771.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WMdDqO3VDDo/UjYzJNaCvlI/AAAAAAAACa4/w6loWbgvrzU/s320/1377359955771.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sometimes we had to go to the doctor. Because otherwise life is boring.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wP0RuRSrjD8/UjYzaBPLfZI/AAAAAAAACbA/LSrB7ozdfBw/s1600/2013-09-05+07.34.46.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wP0RuRSrjD8/UjYzaBPLfZI/AAAAAAAACbA/LSrB7ozdfBw/s320/2013-09-05+07.34.46.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">But we all survived, and are ready for the rest of our year, older, maybe wiser, and can't wait to have more fun!</td></tr>
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<br />Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-19147463138269463922013-09-12T22:22:00.001-06:002013-09-12T22:22:19.931-06:00Holy Forever, Batman!How is it that I've made it an entire summer with nary a single update to my poor, neglected blog?<br />
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For shame!<br />
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I wish I could promise to do better, but the truth is that it is very difficult for me at times to voice my thoughts. Life seems to have so many ups and downs, and sometimes it's all I can do to get through what's being thrown, let alone get all my deep insights out.<br />
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And photos?<br />
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They don't happen often. Or more correctly, they are all on my phone and I can never seem to find the time to get them all over here to upload them.<br />
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And so we'll just play some catch-up with what everyone is doing!<br />
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<i>Mark</i>- Finished up yet another school year in July. According to credit hours, he's a senior. According to his class list, he's still got another 3 semesters at least. Depends on his minor/clusters/whatever he decides... We were very blessed to have had an internship offer extended in April, and they were willing to wait until after his next semester to have him report. So 2 days after school ended for the summer, he was loading his car and driving to Montana for a minimum of 10 weeks, hopefully more. While it's been really tough having him gone, I tell people that it's easier than a deployment: nobody is pregnant, he can call every night and/or facebook, we're not in a foreign country, and his parents live in the same town and love to see their grandkids! Also, having to take care of himself, he's come to a new appreciation of all that I do. That's always a plus! :)<br />
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<i>Myself</i>- Where to start? Weight loss? I've been stalled since Christmas. That's right. In fact, I've let it go a little and gained about 10 lbs back. There are so many excuses, and so many reasons. But I'm trying to get myself back to a healthy state of mind so I can get back to a healthy body. I was able to do a couple races this summer, for which I am grateful. And Mark ran one with me, pushing me WAY past my wall, and encouraging me not to quit. <br /><br /> I've been struggling with a lot of things this summer. And slowly I am trying to learn to let go. Not everything happens the way or the time you hope. Nobody is perfect, the goal is in the trying. And that sometimes, things just happen.<br />
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<i>Oren</i>- My "baby" is in the 6th grade this year. 11 years old. How did this happen? He is a grand total of 6 inches shorter than his mother! He love to read, devours everything we own that I've deemed appropriate for him, and begs for more. He and I have struggled a bit the last several months with the fact that there are only 2 parents in the house, and he is not one of them. Being highly intelligent seems to come with it's drawbacks, and a little humility might be a good thing to teach. But all things come with time. <br />
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He is starting a lot of new things this year. The middle school does advanced math and english, so he is doing those. He was allowed to choose several electives, and big surprise, investigative science was first on the list! He also chose to start beginning woodwinds, and is very excited to get to play clarinet.<br />
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<i>Nathan</i>- He had a bit of fun this summer! Last year it was determined that the valve between his nose and throat was not closing all the way. This was the valve we had reconstructed at 4 yrs old... But he's grown way faster than we thought and though it was trying, it just couldn't quite get shut. A year of therapy, and still nothing. No improvement whatsoever. So we made the very difficult decision to have the doctor do another surgery. This one involved sewing a flap of tissue across the valve opening, essentially closing it off, with small ports on either side for breathing and drainage. This can be reversed once he gets as big as he's going to get, if needed, or if the apnea that is a common side effect becomes a problem. So far, so good. He sounds as though he has a perpetual cold, but even that is getting a lot better as the swelling has gone down.<br />
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He is in 4th grade this year, and already likes it better than 3rd. This year, he's talking better and more, and says he has already made some friends. Last year he was a bit of a loner, and it broke my heart. But a mom can't fix everything, and I couldn't make friends for him. He has to find his own way. Such a sweet boy, and adores his little brother, Daniel. Those two have become fast friends this summer!<br />
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<i>William</i>- Oh, my sweet William. Someday I'm going to have a garden of <i>Sweet William</i> flowers, just because. :) This was a rougher summer on me than it was on him. We had him formally diagnosed as having Asperger's Syndrome. A lot of people wonder just what that is. People hear it hand in hand with Autism. Both are characterized with basically a lack of social skills. Of course, it goes much deeper than that, and can be mild or highly severe. Children may be very vocal, like Oren, or non-talkative, like William. The difference between the diagnoses is that with autism there is some form of cognitive impairment. With Asperger's, there is not. But all that is a moot point as of next year, when some committee somewhere that thinks they know everything has decreed that there will be no more Asperger's. Only mild to severe autism. He is highly intelligent, and I'd love to do an IQ test like we did for Oren to see just how so, his struggle is relating to the world around him and being comfortable in his surroundings.<br />
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He started 1st grade this year, and I was concerned how he would handle a whole day of constant stimulation. At back-to-school night I talked to his teacher and let her know what issues she'll be dealing with. Her first words were "How can I help him?" As a mother, this made me so happy. She isn't going to try to force him to be a square, when he wants to be and only knows how to be a triangle. She walks him through the lunch line and is his go-between with other adults. Our at-home life with him is still a huge struggle, as we try and find ways to help him express himself appropriately, and understand him. But all the work and deep breathing is worth it when he smiles at me and we have those small moments of peace and clarity.<br />
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<i>Daniel - </i>At nearly 4, he is a firecracker! Always on the move, sweet and cuddly. He and William are starting to get along a little better now that they aren't sharing a room. A little. He is learning so much every day and every time I turn around, he's grown that much more!<br />
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With his brothers starting school again, he's missed having his constant playmates of summer. So we are trying to find others for him to play with. I think he enjoys having lots of time, just he and I, to cuddle and talk about what interests him. It's hard to think sometimes that in just 2 more years, he'll be starting school as well, and I'll have no more little ones at home! Where has the time gone?<br />
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Even with so much going on with each of our children, and with ourselves, we have been so blessed as a family these last few months. I would promise to be better at posting on here, but I know better... How about, I promise to try thinking about posting more? Yep, that I <i>can</i> commit to!Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-18360096592293055072013-05-01T09:32:00.000-06:002013-05-01T09:32:13.800-06:00My first 5KSomehow, it's been 4 months since I last blogged. A lot of that has been that we only had 1 functioning computer, and Mark had it at school ALL day! But with Oren starting middle school next year, we thought it best to have a desktop that he could use here at home for writing essays and doing research. Harder to break a desktop than a laptop! So now, I can sit and take as long as I need during the day to fill people in on what we're up to.<br />
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As long as I can get back in the habit of doing so.<br />
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Saturday was my first 5k. Ever. For someone who couldn't run a mile in elementary school, this is a HUGE deal! (<i>I really couldn't. Didn't even finish walking it because it was taking to long so the coach waved me back to join the class after my 3rd lap. Sad.</i>)<br />
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I had been roughly following the C25K plan, starting out walking and gradually adding intervals of running. Mine took considerably longer than the 2 months as stated by the plan, but I was proud of each milestone. The first time I ran a full 4 laps around the track? Best day ever!<br />
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Winter hit and cut my running short. Until an awesome girl at church said she could bring a guest to her gym. And so I went to workout with someone who was pretty much a stranger, and whom now I count as a friend. I hopped up on the treadmill and did awful! But it was good to be back on, and I started pushing myself again for my goal of a 5k this summer.<br />
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I thought I had some time. I was wrong. :)<br />
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Saturday morning came and I found myself stretching and warming up with over 100 10k runners and nearly 200 5k runners. (<i>I'm a runner! Holy cow!</i>) Mark and the boys were on the sidelines, waiting with a camera. The boys were so excited!<br />
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"Mommy? Are you going to run fast? I'm super fast!" - Daniel<br />
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Mommy is just going to be happy trying to make it through the whole thing in one piece!<br />
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My number pinned on, my legs stretched out... I took my place towards the back of the pack. Which turned out to be a good choice, because the front people were FAST! They took off like lightening! With a deep breath, I got my legs going. Slow and steady. One step at a time. Breath in and out. Nice even pace.<br />
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I look up, and I was already at the first water station! The mile mark already? I tried to drink out of a tiny cup without inhaling it up my nose, and without breaking my stride, and psyche myself up for the next mile. From my treadmill, I know that the first mile is "easy" for me now, but that mile 2 needs talking through. I can do it.<br />
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The first leg of any race is run with the body. The second leg is run with the mind. And the third? The third is run with your heart.<br />
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By the halfway point, I was talking to myself. "You can do this! For your kids! For yourself! Make them proud! Keep breathing! Keep pushing!" It's a good thing nobody was around me to hear, because I'm sure it sounded pretty amusing. At nearly the end of the 2nd mile, I'm praying for strength. I'm praying for the endurance that I know I'm capable of. I'm praying for the courage to keep running. I'm thanking the Lord for this chance He had given me to use this body in the way He intended it. This is my second chance to be the person He wants me to be and I'm grateful for it.<br />
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3rd mile. I'm tired. My legs want to walk, just for a minute. But I've pushed the treadmill here too and I know my legs can do it. I've eaten right so they have the energy the muscles need to push through the wall. My mind is blank beyond the "breathe and run, breathe and run" mantra that I'm using to keep my pace from lagging. Where is the finish line? There is a strong wind that was at my back, but that now I'm racing headlong into. What little bit I've got left is harder now for the extra effort the wind is taking to fight.<br />
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I can see it! Mark says to finish strong. Use everything you've got to get yourself across that finish line. So the last 100 yards, I extend my stride, pump those arms, and sprint.<br />
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36 minutes, 49 seconds. And I ran. The WHOLE thing. Blowing past my personal best! But the second I slowed down, my legs decided they were jelly and were fairly close to collapsing, so I grabbed the drink table and started in on a chocolate milk before going and finding my little family who were waiting for me at the finish.<br />
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The hug I got from my husband, who has supported me through this whole journey, was sweeter than the chocolate milk. He is so proud of me, and so were my kids. I could have walked once or twice, but the looks I got from them when I told them I didn't stop once were worth the work!<br />
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I'm signed up for another 5k in July. And have free entry into another one this summer if I wanted to. And that little voice that kept saying "Slow and steady..." is saying that maybe a 10k next year wouldn't be so bad!<br />
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<br />Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-87283542734109411832013-01-02T17:19:00.000-07:002013-01-02T17:19:29.097-07:00Christmas Fun!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A friend asked for a post of all the stuff I made for the Christmas this year. There were several projects, and I've included links to the tutorials I used if there are any. While all these gifts took quite a bit of time, they were all worth it! <br />
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For Mark's parents, a birthday calendar with all the children, spouses, and grandchildren. There are so many to remember now, especially in October, that it seemed a good idea to put them all in one place on the wall for everyone to see. Now there's no excuse for a missed birthday! :) It also looks really nice in her room, which is painted her favorite color: cheery yellow.<br />
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Project plans <a href="http://acraftyescape-katie.blogspot.com/2012/04/i-made-these-for-my-mother-and.html">here</a>. This is where I found the basic plans, and what I really needed - the thing that connected all the circles together. I had no idea, but she used jump rings, which are found in the jewelry making department of any craft store, and small eyelets from a hardware store. <br />
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For William, who loves hanging out on the floor of his room and drawing, or working through coloring books and workbooks. This gives him a way to store his supplies, as well as help his back posture by not having to hunch over quite so far. You can place it on the floor, or it would be great for a teen lap desk to do homework.<br />
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Project plans <a href="http://ana-white.com/2009/12/plans-what-to-do-with-scraps-love-this-super-storage-lap-table.html">here</a>. I had most of the wood, and only had to get a 2x2x8 and a pair of hinges. I also grabbed Valspar sample can at the hardware store that was premixed and less than $3 because William liked the color. <br />
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The boys love to drape blankets over their beds to make forts, and Oren is forever making tents outside. So why not build them one for the inside? It disassembles, although not too easily, and there are dowels attaching the top crossboard with one of the 1x2's it's leaning on so that it doesn't accidentally fold up on someone or fall all the way open. It seems pretty sturdy so far!<br />
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Project plans<a href="http://ana-white.com/2011/06/easy-kids-tent-reading-nook"> here.</a> <br />
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Also, the floor cushion inside so they have a place to rest their seats. I had a giant bag of batting and a LOT of fabric to choose from, and the stripes won.<br />
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Project plan <a href="http://www.livingwithpunks.com/2010/05/tutorial-land-of-nod-inspired-floor.html">here</a>. Minus the handle, since it was around 11 pm on Christmas Eve...<br />
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The only thing Daniel asked Santa for was a superhero cape. Luckily I had already found a tutorial earlier this year for just such a thing! He loved to put his coat hood on his head and run around with the coat trailing after him, so this way he can still have a cape and wear a coat. :)<br />
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Project plans <a href="http://quiltedturtle.blogspot.com/2011/02/homemade-superhero.html">here</a> and <a href="http://www.vanillajoy.com/super-hero-mask-pattern-tutorial.html">here</a> (for the eye mask). <br />
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Danny-boy also got a chair that I had picked up from DI over a year ago. It was covered originally in old, dirty Space Jam fabric. Complete with some sort of pet hair in the original padding! I stripped it down to the foam, which I soaked to clean it. Then I used fabric glue to attach batting to help soften the shape of the chair. Each side of the chair was placed individually on fabric, the outline drawn with seam allowance added, marked with which piece it was and which side. Then all the pieces were sewn together. It was really tough, there were some odd angles to work around. But it turned out really cute, and a perfect fit! <br />
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Since I ended up somehow 2 stockings short, and none of us had matching stockings anyway, I pulled out some more fleece and some felt and whipped up a half dozen. I didn't use a tutorial, but took pictures while putting together the last one and will post one on here later. I may add everyone's initial on their stocking, but since each person picked their felt colors, it helped us tell them apart. :) <br />
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Every year, we get pajamas for Christmas. This was a tradition growing up, and I can still remember the excitement of going up to get ready for bed and finding a wrapped package with my name on it. The best year I can remember was the one my mother made us all matching long red flannel nightgowns, with white at the collar, and red ruffles on the bottom and the sleeves. I loved those pajamas and wore them until the nightgown was finally too short.<br />
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This was the first year I managed to make both the tops and the bottoms, instead of using a package of plain white t-shirts and adding some decoration to match the pants. <br />
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The last 2 things were projects for Mark. Since he isn't home and I really don't want to pull the card out of the computer, put it in the camera, set up the shots, transfer stuff back to the computer and then find it to post the picture, I'll just use the ones from the tutorial...<br />
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First one is a <a href="http://whipup.net/2010/09/19/2010-guest-blogger-series-laura-wilson-making-a-firewood-tote/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+WhipUp+%28whip+up%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher">firewood carrier</a>. His is a yellow striped canvas on both sides, since the flannel would attract and hold wood splinters. Instead of branches, I used a hardwood broom handle. Very hard. So hard I could barely cut it with the saw that came with our mitre box! But on the plus side, that means that it won't break easily...<br />
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Mark didn't want the handles sliding out of the slots, which I had sewn an additional seam right next to the wood with a zipper foot so they'd stay a little better. So he drilled some holes and put some screws right through the fabric and into the handles. Which is how we know just how hard the wood really was, he could barely get the drill bit through!<br />
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And lastly, I made him a <a href="http://www.craftsewdesign.com/2010/12/foot-warmer-tutorial.html">foot warmer</a>! Fleece on the inside and a flannel outside, in his favorite color: blue. He is forever asking the boys for a blanket to wrap around his feet when he's doing his homework on the couch. So he get's cold feet? Not anymore!<br />
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Minky is around $20 a yard, and while I do happen to have a yard here at the house, it was originally bought for a baby quilt for my nephew and I wasn't willing to cut into it for a foot warmer, not have enough for the blanket, and end up buying more yardage later at an outrageous price. So fleece it was!<br />
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I plan on making one for myself, but making the top into it's own rice bag sewn onto the bottom larger rice bag. Because I stole Mark's the other day and it was warm, but big enough to fold over my feet and with the warm rice on top and bottom it was even better! <br />
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So that's the list of the different projects I had going on this year. Will we do homemade next year? Definitely! Will it be such an extensive list? Very likely. Will I wait until December to start? I hope not, because this was insane!<br />
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I also had 2 blankets that were done Thanksgiving weekend: one for Mark's sister and her husband, green flannel on top and gray fleece on the bottom, with random quilted squares, big enough for my 6'4" brother-in-law to snuggle under comfortably. Which is good because then he got sick after Christmas. The other was green camo fleece on top and tan marble-y on bottom to match desert camo. Those were stiched 4 inches from the edge all the way around, and then the outsides were cut into inch-wide fringe. He loved it!<br />
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<br />Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-30143945035846011532012-11-30T15:23:00.003-07:002012-11-30T15:23:49.608-07:00A Jumble, and BlessingsToday is just a little bit of everything. Mostly because it's somehow been over a month since I posted anything. And partly because I have so many things on my mind.<br />
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For one, I missed Daniel's birthday. Not "missed it entirely as a family", just "missed posting anything about it..."<br />
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Somehow his photos are still on my phone. But at least I took them. We had Grandparents come have goodies with us, and sweet aunts and uncles who gave him some fun gifts. Ones with lots of noise, of course. Because what's life without a little noise?<br />
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Then our closet fell apart. Quite literally. The shelf not only fell off the wall, but was broken in half on one end. Brackets were broken as well. Clothes were hanging on any surface they could fit on for over 3 weeks while I repaired the wall, puttied, textured, and painted. New shelves were installed, and our dresser is partway through a makeover also, so that it looks like a built-in.<br />
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The disaster we walked in on. It's been a hodgepodge mess since we moved in and threw stuff in there to deal with later. <br />
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Done with the taping, and texturing. Halfway through painting, just to show the awfulness of the "white" that was no longer white compared to the gorgeous clean white that's now in there. <br />
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My beautiful new shelves! And if those brackets break, I'm going to cry...<br />
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It's not done yet, I'll take another picture when the dresser is done and everything else is in. We raised the shelf so the clothes weren't puddling on the dresser top anymore. Yay!<br />
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Halloween came and went, with loads of candy and face paint. And class parties with date mix ups, so my children went to school and had to go wash their faces. Oops! <br />
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In November, Mark lost his job. Which we expected, but we honestly thought the company would have a few more weeks of work left before the jobs cut back for the winter. No such luck. He put in so many applications that I lost track. When he had an group interview for UPS we were excited, seasonal helper would be perfect since permanent, long term employment really isn't optional right now. He starts school in a month and may not be able to work if he has to take more than minimum full-time credits. And so he called every day, for 2 weeks, to see if they needed him that day. Meanwhile, even more applications are being sent in to various companies, phone calls being made, emails sent. Bills looming, stress mounting. Saving dwindling. Yes, he could claim unemployment insurance. But working part-time during school managed to nip us since it's based on the work hours/pay per quarter. So it was barely enough to pay for the house, with no wiggle room.<br />
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Wednesday when he called, he was finally told that drivers needed him! All the boxes from Black Friday were starting to come in! It's still a huge pay cut, and still isn't going to cover much other than the bare necessities unless he gets a lot of overtime. And it's still going to be very tight until funding comes in from school/GI Bill. But it's still a relief to have something coming in. It's still hope.<br />
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One of the big things that at least I, personally, have been dealing with is the stress of uncertainty. I can't speak for Mark. It's one of the things I try hard not to bring up because I don't want to put any of it on him, none of my stress is his fault, and it's not his burden to bear. Instead, this time, I tried just quietly putting it aside. Especially with the holidays rapidly approaching, and wanting to provide my children with both the things they need and the things that they desire.<br />
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These children are wonderful. They have so little that they ask for, no long lists of "I want's". That changes a little right before Christmas, when they are bombarded with ads for various awesome things, but year-round, their desires are simple. This is a blessing that their father and I appreciate, especially right now when our resources are limited.<br />
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Part of me putting the stress aside was to simply say "I will do what I can. I will look to the things that I have, and rely on my creativity to give them memories this year. I won't worry about what I can't change or can't do." And my heart was calmed.<br />
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Then the most amazing thing happened.<br />
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Angels, literal angels on this earth, took my little ones into their hearts.<br />
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Blessings have been poured out on my family from many who love us. Even Mark and I were remembered by someone unexpected. We feel so touched and grateful, and loved. <br />
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We weren't able to visit my family as planned, but we did have the opportunity to sleep in our own beds while still spending 4 days enjoying the company of Mark's family. That's the best part of living here. We can see everyone, and then go tuck our children into their own beds, and unwind with some quiet time, recharge our batteries, before going back into the fray. :)<br />
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Santa provided stocking stuffer funds, and Grandma watched the boys while we had "date time" on Black Friday. Mark is probably one of the few men I know who would not only willingly go into the mall with his wife, but be the one to suggest doing it. We looked through all but 2 stores that sell women's clothing looking for a fitted/tailored black or blue dress for me to try on. Just because he wanted to see me in one. Window shopping at it's finest!<br />
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The power went out that Sunday, multi-town wide. We were all in a panic about how to cook lunch for nearly 30 people with no electricity, and were on the verge of lighting the grill when the power came back on early. It wasn't until the next morning and I was fixing breakfast that it occurred to us that our house has a gas oven, and a wood-burning stove for heat. Where was my brain for that one?<br />
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Somehow over the past month I got down to 65 lbs lost. Not sure how, I wasn't eating very well thanks to stress. And working out hasn't been very frequent thanks to the temperatures. But the couple of times I was able to go running, it felt great! Mark has forfeited his windbreaker pants... Hahaha. I'm thinking that experiments with cupcake flavors are slightly to blame for the slow-down, but I can't offer holiday flavors that I haven't personally tasted.<br />
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And finally... Nathan's speech therapist had brought up some concerns about his physical abilities and wondered if I would be okay referring him to an occupational therapist for an evaluation. And sure enough, the OT agreed. It's not all "awkward movements due to his size for his age", but she's confident that he won't be a long-term patient. He starts that therapy in a couple weeks.<br />
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How blessed we are that my children's medical needs are taken care of right now!<br />
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So much goes on in our family on a daily basis that it's really impossible to include everything. But I wanted to at least touch on some of the highlights on what's going on in our lives.<br />
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Smile!Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-80715776709138725612012-10-08T15:00:00.000-06:002012-10-08T15:00:45.711-06:00To my "Silly Willy"Last week, you had a birthday. We got together with your Grandparents and celebrated the day you came into our family. You were so sweet, and so happy! You got to choose the breakfast and went for "those pancakes you make in the oven that get huge!" So German Pancakes it was.<br />
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You got to pick your cake, so mommy made you a special one. Banana. And you got to choose your ice cream at the store. Strawberry, with real strawberries! There's a lot of times that you don't get to pick the things that we have, because you're kind of in the middle. There's a lot of times I realize you have gotten forgotten in the chaos and I'm sorry. So I hope that we made your birthday special enough for you.<br />
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William, you are such a joy in our lives! We went through a lot to have you here with us, and it's a miracle that you are. Mommy's body stopped feeding you, but her doctor was paying close attention. And told us that we had to have you early. You didn't like that, but when you finally got here, we were so happy to have you placed in our arms! And for 20 glorious minutes we held you and knew who you were. And then the nurse came to check on us and told us they had to take you away to check on you because you were looking a little blue and making funny noises.<br />
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And it turned out that you were our sickest little baby yet. They had to make you sleep so that a machine could breathe for you. The doctors had to give you things to help your lungs develop. When you could breathe better, you had to wear little sunglasses and chill out under special lamps. But you didn't like the glasses and kept pulling them off. Even as a TINY baby, you had such a fun personality!<br />
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When we finally got to take you home, you were too small to fit any of the clothes we had gotten for you, thinking you would be big like your older brother Nathan. So Grandma D had to make some special tiny pajamas for you. I kept them special, so that when you have babies, you can show them how small you were. And how loved.<br />
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William, I don't have many pictures from your first year. And I'm sorry for that. They were lost. But you loved scooting around the floor, and playing with the kitten who climbed into the playpen all the time! She loved you and would let you pull her around the house by her tail. Or fall asleep on her. Or carry her around like a doll. You loved eating spaghetti, because it made a huge mess!<br />
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Oh, you loved a good mess! Paint, kitty litter... Trash even!<br />
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You love doing the things your Daddy does.<br />
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You know one of the things I love? How, every morning, you get dressed by yourself. Before you even come out of your room. Without being asked. I love how you make yourself toast when you need a snack. I love how you help your brother find his special bear. </div>
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I love how you stand by mommy and "exercise" with her. You're so fun to watch! I love how excited you get about going to school every day, even if it's hard sometimes for me to watch you walk into the school all by yourself. You still need me to hold your hand, and you still love to be tucked in at night. </div>
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Sometimes you and I have a hard time with each other, because we are very much alike. Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing the best job of giving you everything you need, because you have brothers that take a lot of attention. But I'm trying, my sweet William. And I love you so much... Happy Birthday! </div>
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Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-89714930734853645052012-10-08T14:10:00.000-06:002012-10-08T14:10:06.134-06:00Picture Time!It's that time again! Time to show myself how far I've come since I started trying to be more healthy. Time to show you that I did it, and let everyone know how much I value your love and support.<br />
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This has been, without a doubt, one of the hardest things I've ever done. And that includes carrying and giving birth to my beautiful children! And it's not over yet. While I have goals that have been met and exceeded, I have even more goals that are far from being realized. Things I want my body to be able to do, things that are on their way to being accomplished even if I'm not sure how fast I'll get there.<br />
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Last summer, this picture was taken of me at a scout function. It's scary. You've seen it before.<br />
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Today, taken hurriedly since I'm running late getting William to school...<br />
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Crazy, huh?<br />
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I still feel very self-conscious some days, I know I look and feel better than I have in a long time, but I think there are always going to be some hold-backs from at my biggest and unhappiest. But Mark is wonderful about dishing out compliments and lending me support when I need it. So are all of you!<br />
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How far have I come?<br />
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At the beginning of July when I started exercising, I could barely walk a brisk half mile. Sure, I could slowly wander through a store for a couple hours, but was exhausted by the time I got home. My goal was to run a mile and eventually a 5K. (3 miles...) I'm halfway there! My body can take the abuse of a good 20 minute jog now. With no stops. 6 full laps. And I'm still working towards that 5K, but with the cold weather, I don't know how fast I'll get there. The kids can only tolerate so long playing on the bleachers at the high school in the cold, and I don't know how happy the elementary school is with me having them play at the playground while I use their track.<br />
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I could barely bend over to pick something up without looking suspiciously like one of those sumo wrestlers. Grunting included. Now my biggest worry is who is going to get a look at my hind end while I'm bent in half at the waist to grab the shopping list off the floor!<br />
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I can sit up. I can get up off the floor without rolling around first. My feet don't hurt like they used to. My back doesn't either. I haven't had heartburn in 3 months. 2 minutes of yoga killed me, and now I can do the whole 1st 20 minute segment. (not bad for wrists with carpal tunnel and lots of planks/downward facing dog stuff...)<br />
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Yes, these are all things that have been mentioned before. I know. And I'm sorry. It's just that these things continue to amaze me. Every day. And I'm proud of them, because it's taken a lot of hard work to get here. A lot of self-control. And even a few tears.<br />
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Here's to losing 50 lbs!<br />
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Total weight lost : 53 lbs. Down 4 pant sizes and nearly 4 shirt sizes. <br />
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<br />Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-56866947456161293292012-09-24T21:39:00.002-06:002012-09-24T21:39:27.816-06:00Any time is Family Time!Since our meetings were canceled on Sunday, by about 5:00 in the afternoon we were going stir crazy. Family time is totally Sunday appropriate, especially going for a nice walk to appreciate nature. So we picked a trail that went along the Snake River and off we went!<br />
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When we got to the end of the leg that went as far as some railroad tracks, we found some fun rocks where the river had dragged stones across it's bed and left neat formations. The boys enjoyed running and climbing around for a while.<br />
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Mark found a trail, not a nice paved one, but one worn by many feet walking it. It looked like it headed up river a ways to where a map showed a smaller set of falls than the ones by the temple in Idaho Falls. So off we went! We stopped by a tree to take a picture.<br />
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You can see the trail off to the left. The "stripes and solids" pattern here was not planned at all. :-)<br />
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We hiked for a good 30 minutes from the car to the falls. In sand. And thistles. Even over this rickety bridge! Mark tested it out first, the water was shallow. It held him, so the boys carefully crossed over. I was last, holding Daniel's hand, and was very glad that my weight is less and my balance is so much better- because otherwise he and I would have walked back to the car!<br />
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After watching some rapids and talking about waterfalls for a while, we decided to head back before the sun started seriously setting, since it was another 30 minute walk back to the car. And the bees. There were a lot of bees by the water thanks to a farmer's stash of beehives at the close-by corner of his field.<br />
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On the way back, we stopped at the log again so Mommy could be in a picture. I'm always behind the camera, and I worry that when the kids are older and they look back, they'll think I simply didn't exist or something!<br />
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Daddy found some cockleburrs on the way back, and showed the boys how they stuck to shirts. I politely declined to be decorated. Actually, I believe it was something like "Don't you dare stick those things on me! I don't want to itch the rest of the night!"<br />
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It's so funny when Mommy gives advice, and nobody listens. By the time we got back to the car, the older 2 were complaining of itching and then burning, as well as the biggest kid of them all... Daddy. Who swore he played with them as a kid and they were perfectly harmless. Based on the redness, we went for an emergency run to Walmart for some Calydryl. Everyone had to strip when we got home and shower off and then get all "pinked up". Poor kiddos. <br />
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<br />Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-36509698385706463732012-09-14T13:09:00.001-06:002012-09-14T13:09:08.773-06:00Musings of my moments...This has been a rough week in terms of staying motivated. Motivated to work out, motivated to eat right, motivated to clean... motivated in general. There are times when I feel very normal, and there are times when my bipolar rears up and tries to bite me in the tush. Just to see if I'm still here? Or because it's bored?<br />
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I don't know.<br />
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But this week was one of the "not so good" weeks. I knew it was coming, I could feel it. And there wasn't a thing I could do about it.<br />
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I've lost a little.<br />
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I've sat a lot.<br />
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I even made cookies, and was somehow strong enough to only eat one.<br />
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But this means that next week will be a good week. Because that's how things go for me. Next week I'll remember to plan menus in advance, because it's so much easier. Next week I'll push myself a little harder to get to the track, because soon enough it will be far too cold to make the kids play on the bleachers.<br />
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But it hasn't been all bad this week.<br />
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I played with Daniel on the playground today after dropping William off at school. And I don't mean that I sat and watched him run around on the rocks or go down the slide.<br />
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No.<br />
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I played <i>with</i> Daniel. I sat on the swing, with him on my lap holding the chain, and I swung. "Higher, Mommy!" while he laughed with glee.<br />
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I watched him climb the spinning thing and hold on, while I <i>ran</i> around to make him spin.<br />
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And <i>together</i>, we explored the huge rocks. With rock stairs to climb, and tunnels to go through, and slides to go down. And as we were sitting on the side-by-side slide, and he reached over and took my hand to go down, I realized how this journey has brought me so much more than smaller clothes and compliments. It's brought me a childhood. It's brought me the chance to be the mom I had wanted to be.<br />
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So I'll take the bad weeks, because they'll come no matter what. But I won't lose sight of why I started this whole thing in the first place. For me. For my family. For the chance to see my kids grow and then get to play at the playground with <i>their</i> kids.<br />
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<i>Weight loss since June 8: 44.4 lbs. Nearly halfway to my goal.</i>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-48866115041196746552012-09-14T12:55:00.002-06:002012-09-14T12:55:29.881-06:00Hike! 2...3...4...5...6....Up the Hill!We've been wanting to do something as a family all summer. Yellowstone? Maybe. If we could remember to pack food the night before and leave early to make the drive up there. The local "lake"? Nah. It's always crowded in the summer. But about 20 minutes away is a gorgeous little hiking spot called "Cress Creek". So off we took last Saturday, lunch in hand, and drove up in the hills a bit.<br />
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Look at that view! Cress Creek got the name because the water is naturally warmed and as it flows down the side of the mountain/hill, it congregates in little pools allowing watercress to grow. I suppose you could harvest it, but we didn't let the kids. Nature isn't as clean as it used to be, which is a shame because it would have been fantastic on my sandwhich!<br />
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We got there and had our lunch before starting our climb. I strapped Daniel on my back, partly because his little legs are pretty short to hike up, and partly because I was curious to see how much harder my body had to work over 30 lbs ago. No wonder I was always tired! These pictures were taken at the top of our climb, which was not quite the top of the trail. But we had some tired little boys, with tired little legs by this point, and so chose to head back. The whole hike took us a little over an hour, with a nervous mommy on some of the downhill parts!<br />
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But it was fun and I'm glad we were able to go and enjoy some time as a family. <br />
Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-4098536888500328062012-09-14T12:38:00.000-06:002012-09-14T12:38:07.954-06:00First Day of School!I'm getting these up a good week and a half late, but better late than never! The boys started school last Wednesday, and it's iffy who was more excited. Me, or them. Oren and Nathan get on the bus in the morning, so I had to snap their pictures then. But William doesn't go until nearly noon and I was running behind, so his got taken when he got home.<br />
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They all had a great first day, even if William was a little nervous. The other 2 both went to preschool for speech therapy and things, and were bussed there and back every day. So the classroom setting, all the kids, school routine... and the bus... were nothing majorly new for them when they started kindergarten. But poor William? All he's had is Primary as far as class time away from Mom and Dad. And buses? He's never been on one in his life!<br />
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He did great though, and Oren was an awesome big brother on the way home. I should have had my camera, because it was the sweetest thing when he stepped off the bus, waited for William, and held his hand all the way home. And now when I tell him "Shoes on, time for school!" his response is "Yay! I wonder what we'll learn today!"<br />
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And I love that he loves it already.<br />
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Daniel just had to sneak in there for one, but the other boys had about had it. I can't believe how fast they are growing up! Oren is in 5th grade now, his last year in elementary school. Next year he'll start middle school and may ride a different bus home than his brothers. Nathan is in 3rd grade this year, and is excited to start learning cursive.<br />
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And Daniel is adjusting to life at home with just Mommy in the afternoons. How? By causing as many messes as he can before they get home. :-)<br />
Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-38021309577851792642012-08-31T12:57:00.001-06:002012-08-31T12:57:53.482-06:001 Year AgoI was hunting yesterday in my files for a particular photo, when I came across one that was taken of me a year ago. And it scared me a little. I knew I wasn't healthy. I knew I was big. And I knew that I <i>really</i> hated being in front of the camera. I just didn't know that I had been <i>this </i>bad!<br />
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Mark knew, and he loved me anyway... Bless him. He's been a wonderful support, always encouraging. And even at my worst physical shape, he'd find something to compliment me on. And I just feel bad that <i>that</i> is what he had to look at every day!<br />
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How grateful I am for the opportunity to change. To change not only myself, but the lives of my family. My children eat healthier than most of the other kids I know! They dive into vegetables and fruits like there's no tomorrow. I can't keep apples and bananas in the house long enough to go bad, and they always want to help me eat my salad... I'm grateful for the opportunity to be an example and a support for friends and family, who see that I can do it so they can to! A friend is running with me at the track with her kids some days now. A sister is back into her size 6's. A new friend would love me to text her when I go to work out so she can join me.<br />
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I'm grateful for the physical changes that I feel in my everyday life. Everything is easier! Not <i>easy</i>, but definitely <i>easier</i> for my body to do. Things as simple as bending over to pick up something I dropped used to require an odd squat thing while exhaling out as deep as I could and sort of grunting while my insides were all squished up. Now? No problem, as I can touch the floor with straight legs anyway, even if they are slightly spread apart.<br />
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I'm grateful for the changes I can see as well. Wearing my wedding band again. A picture my sister-in-law took of me and my face doesn't look like a ball.<br />
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Today's weight: 189.2 lbs. I am below 190 for the first time in 5 years! Total weight lost so far: 37.8 lbs.<br />
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These are my size 18's from my "too small" box, and a reward shirt in a 1X. I was nearly a 3X, 3 months ago... Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-28638026246059345732012-08-08T09:31:00.001-06:002012-08-08T09:52:30.322-06:00The big 3 - 0 !The number 30 is good. It's an even number. It's divisible by 10 which is also an even number, as well as by 3. It starts with the number 3. (<i>3 is one of my favorite numbers and I like to group things in 3's.</i>) 30 is how old I turned on my last birthday although I've been asked if I was the nanny or the babysitter. What kind of babysitter or nanny takes 4 young ones out to McDonalds in the morning for breakfast? (<i>We had just dropped the car off at the shop for the day and were hungry... Funny older British lady stared at us the whole time and then asked if I were the nanny. Honest to goodness...</i>)<br />
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30 is also, coincidentally, the number of pounds I have now lost! While 20 is good, my goal was to get down to 30, because it's an even number that for me would be less than weighing 200 lbs. Actually, this morning was 30.4 lbs... !<br />
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More things I have learned this week:<br />
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1. Take breaks. If I work out hard every day than it doesn't give my body a chance to recover. It's okay to take a day and make the decision to not work out. That doesn't mean I'll be sitting down all day, oh no, just that I won't be jogging that morning or doing lunges with added weights.<br />
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2. Eat. Although I'm doing low carb, I found out it's important to track my calories too. Because veggies and fruits aren't exactly high in them and I eat a lot of veggies with some fruit. And the basic tenet of weight loss is more calories burnt than taken in. I have to eat a certain minimum or I start getting shaky and dizzy like I was earlier this week. Not on purpose mind you, but we were at family's house and I wasn't in charge of the food. They had pizza, I had a piece of cheese and a tomato because that's all they had in the fridge that I could eat. And some peanuts I found in my purse. Situations like that are actually why I tend to keep nuts in my purse! And then I eat when I can.<br />
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Of course, I can't just gorge myself on steak all the time and expect to lose... Sure it's low carb, but a 16 oz steak is still a lot of calories! :-)<br />
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3. It's okay to treat yourself, as long as it's a wise treat choice. I took the kids to Orange Leaf, a self-service frozen yogurt place here. 2 kids share a bowl and mommy fills it with their flavor choice. Then they each get to pick a topping for their yogurt. It keeps the portion sizes small as well as the cost. Yesterday I decided that I'd treat myself too. After all, dragging kids through the mall is no picnic and I deserved it. I was also trying to get in enough food to feel better after not getting enough the couple days prior. But instead of getting a full bowl of the chocolate peanut butter swirl, I got about 1/2 a cup (<i>which is a serving of ice cream and I figured, yogurt too.</i>) of the classic tart. Likely less sugar being very lightly sweetened plain yogurt. And topped it with a couple fresh strawberry chunks and some almonds for protein and fiber.<br />
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It was amazing! Not what I'll do all the time, but after looking up nutrition information, I will feel a lot better about an <i>occasional</i> bowl for myself.<br />
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I also made the choice to have a slice of pizza. After all day microwave shopping I was too tired to do much for dinner, so we hit up the local take-n-bake place. They (<i>not Papa Murphy's, sorry...</i>) have a seafood pizza with alfredo sauce that I had to try. One slice, enjoyed it immensely as my first slice in 2 months, and then left the table. Yesterday wasn't typical for me at all, and I still lost a little, but it proved to myself that I can have those things every once in a while without losing control and eating everything in sight!<br />
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And I felt a lot better yesterday and today with enough food in my system for survival, :-).Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-16612842578284405452012-07-31T11:42:00.000-06:002012-07-31T11:42:00.028-06:00Picture update! I was finally able to get a decent looking picture. At first I was going to do one wearing the same outfit, the pink one, but realized that there was no change because the shirt was too big as were the shorts. So I took one wearing a smaller shirt that fits me again and the new pair of pants I had to buy because I only had one pair. Much better! In fact, I'm going to have to either get rid of the pink shirt, or take it in a bit. Because it's quite big in the chest now... Not that I'm complaining!<br />
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I have officially hit 25 lbs lost! Actually, it's 25.5 as of this morning. Just 2 more pounds and I will be under 200 for the first time since before I got pregnant with Daniel! Over 3 years! My size 20 pants are getting loose and I am wearing one of the 2 pairs of 18's capris that fit me, and I have a pair of pants that is a tad snug in the thigh but fits in the waist and tushy. These are pants I haven't worn in 2 years! I kept them because I wasn't willing to get rid of 5 perfectly good pairs of jeans and 3 pairs of capris when I might wear them again someday. The 16's were depressing so I got rid of those long ago. Guess I have to go shopping in about 15-20 lbs!<br />
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Mark and I went to the high school track this morning and let the kids go nuts while we ran. Somehow the track is harder for me than country roads. Maybe it's because a mile on the country road is easy enough to do and then you have to still make it home. 2 miles, presto! But that's 8 laps on a track and a lot harder mentally. But considering I'm still a good 70 lbs overweight and my legs are short, I think I held my own with my tall and fit husband! Even if I can't really run the bleachers after each lap... (He's crazy, I'm telling you. "Let's do sit ups and then push ups and run the bleachers after each lap. It'll be fun!" It wasn't...)<br />
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I've come such a long way, and I'm trying to remember that I'm only competing with myself. I don't have to beat any one else's time or stamina, just my own. I can go so much farther and longer than I could when I started. I can do planks when I couldn't before between my core muscles and my wrists. I can jog for 5 minutes straight (found that out this morning...) and then continue the 1 1/2 miles in 2 minute intervals. I can look at and smell a big batch of chocolate chip cookies, and not eat one!Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-1423777004645430662012-07-26T15:19:00.004-06:002012-07-26T15:23:15.472-06:00Touring the Gardens<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We decided to have some well-deserved family time today and drove the boys up to the campus to see the gardens Mark has been working in all year. They are so well designed, little surprise garden rooms and beautiful study spaces... The boys wore themselves out checking out waterfalls and we got to hear Daddy tell us all about his special project that his class started. It was really neat to see him so excited about the things he could tell us about. We even got to tour his favorite greenhouses!<br />
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One spot was a gorgeous waterfall and pond, with real water lilies and reeds growing. There was a flock of small blue dragonflies flitting about as well, but they didn't want to pose for a close up.<br />
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William enjoyed climbing the rocks the students made the most. I have lots of pictures of him on rocks. "Mommy! I'm on a tall rock! Take a picture!" Snap. :-)<br />
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This tree had a really neat trunk and Daniel went to investigate. <br />
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My camera kept trying to focus on the flowers, so I let it. Love the result! He's sitting at the water's edge looking down and smiling at the bugs.<br />
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Here Oren is at the very top of the waterfall. <br />
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Climbing more rocks! Daniel ended up standing higher than my head and it's quite a drop off the backside, so Daddy had to come get him down for me. Daniel was too scared to bend over and grab my hands. Thank heavens for a tall husband! <br />
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The gardens the students planted have filled in nicely by this point in the season, and I loved how these colors all worked together. Especially the bright greens of the leaves you can see here with the deep pink florals. This garden was one that their class was asked to design. Mark's wasn't picked, but I'm sure his would have been equally stunning. <br />
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All the greenhouses I've ever been in are full of tables of flowers. Not the campus ones! This greenhouse was a tropical paradise! Yep, we're inside a building here, standing just in the doorway. There was a downhill sloped path to a bridge that we're going to walk down. <br />
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"Smell the flower!" It smelled beautiful, like jasmine, although Mark says that's not what it was. A very floral-y smell. <br />
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Seriously, this is inside the greenhouse... A tiny stream dripping down from the hole, you can barely see it, with a pond and fish at the bottom and a little table I'm standing in front of to take the picture where you could study or eat lunch. I'd never leave. <br />
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The next greenhouse over was hotter and drier than the tropical, with cacti and other succulents. A soft blanket of bouncy ground cover is what the boys are discovering. Oren was laying on the ground using it as a pillow because it's so soft.<br />
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I have lots more photos of the boys exploring and the gorgeous plants we saw, but that would have taken all day to post and these are my favorites. I'm really glad we got to see what Mark does all day at school, the beauty that he gets to surround himself with.Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-6847656662782304582012-07-18T13:17:00.000-06:002012-07-18T13:17:22.347-06:00How my life is changing...You know, it's funny... last time I had a large weight loss and was working out, I didn't notice the little things as much as I am now.<br />
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Picture a turtle on it's back. Got it? Okay, now put my face on it. You're laughing right? Well, that was me trying to get up off the floor just a short time ago. I've noticed since trying to strengthen my arms and my core (abs and back) that it is so much easier. No more rocking back and forth and trying to grab things to pull up on. Yeah. It was that bad.<br />
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Also when trying to get up, I would close my fist and lock my wrist, putting my weight on my knuckles. Because I have carpal tunnel and placing my hand open on the ground to support my weight would hurt and make my hands go instantly numb. But not any more! It's habit now that I'm trying to break and still catch myself doing, but I <i>can</i> use my hand normally to lift myself now.<br />
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Even things as simple as drying my legs off after a shower... I used to have to prop my leg on the counter because I couldn't bend without doing an odd squat thing. Being able to move like a normal person is perhaps one of the biggest joys I've had since starting this journey. I can bend. I can pick up things off the floor without sounding like I'm dying!<br />
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I would normally insert a picture here, but Mark did indeed take the camera to school today. So maybe we'll get one later on and I'll post it. Maybe tomorrow. But I will post one because I promised a 20 lb shot, didn't I?<br />
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That's right! This morning I weighed in at 206.4. That's a total of 20.6 lbs lost so far! Several inches off my waist, hips, and chest are missing as well now...<br />
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And you know what's the funniest thing to me? It's not the getting up, or the fact that I can do pushups and sit ups, or even the fact that the brand new jeans I just bought are getting loose in the thigh and I can nearly fit the next size down (although that <i>is</i> pretty ironic)... It's the fact that I feel wrong when I get up and don't work out. Like on Sundays, it's my rest day. And it just feels weird to me. Because every day I get up early and either walk/jog, or do a pilates or other toning video, or sometimes an aerobic workout video. Some sort of exercise. That moving sets the tone for the rest of my day and I realized that I love it. How's that for a huge life change?Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-39157984409204993132012-07-18T12:59:00.001-06:002012-07-18T12:59:26.696-06:00Boys just wanna have fun!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Last Saturday, Mark's family met at the local zoo and park for a reunion. This is a huge group of people, with all the brothers and sisters that can make it, their children, and their children's children. (Sound familiar, Danes clan?) I took the boys to the zoo on my own before wandering over to meet up with family. There are no pictures of the zoo fun, because it was pretty much pouring down rain for most of it and I wasn't getting the camera out to get it all wet. <br />
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But, on our way to the park section, we ran into Grandma W and some of the other grandkids in the "fun zone", a little group of rides for kids. She bought a slew of tickets and off they went! William and Daniel wanted to ride the train. The two little guys in front are their cousins, Alex and Corwin, also brothers. <br />
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"Look Mommy! I'm riding in a train!" <br />
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Some of the older kids were brave and chose to ride The Octopus. This is one of those rides that spin your car around as the ride goes around as well as up and down. Nathan had no clue that's what it would do and screamed. A lot. <br />
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Oren with another cousin, Spencer. They're only 1 1/2 years apart, and love to spend time together. In fact, when Oren and Spencer saw each other at the park, it was "Oren!!!" - run... "Spencer!!!" - run... <br />
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Nathan, cousin Jonathon, and cousin Brooklyn waiting their turn to get off this crazy thing! <br />
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Grandma ended up with 2 tickets left, and since there weren't enough to go around, the kids voted to give them to the youngest, who happened to be Daniel. So he opted to ride on the big horse. By himself. I couldn't sit with him without a ticket so I had to trust the ride operator to keep close to him. She strapped him on which made me feel a lot better, and we told him to hold on tight. It's not that the merry-go-round is fast, but we were worried that he'd get excited, let go, and tip over the horse. <br />
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He did a great job holding on, and wasn't scared at all!<br />
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Then we wandered over to the family pavilion, getting there just before it started raining again. Which it did off and on the rest of the day. Kids were soaked through, but had a great time. And some of us even managed a hilarious game of volleyball in the slippery wet grass!Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-56107545038568131002012-07-08T14:18:00.003-06:002012-07-08T14:18:52.969-06:00Sir, Reporting, Sir!I just felt the urge to sit down and let you all know how I was doing with my "new lifestyle". Diet is such a strong word with negative feelings for some people. A diet isn't going to do anything for me in the long run. But changing the way I live is going to allow me to succeed!<br />
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Things I've noticed:<br />
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1. Water is awesome! It makes you feel full. It helps your skin glow, it really does. It distracts you from the snacks when it's not quite time to eat again.<br />
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2. The wrong shoes can make just as big a difference as the right shoes, but in the wrong way. After 2 weeks of intervals, my shins started to hurt and I had to cut back to just muscle toning videos for a few days. But after doing some thinking and talking with some of you, I invested in a pair of good quality running shoes. And since I still have so much weight impacting my poor feet when I jog, I got ones with gel in the soles.<br />
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3. Abs can get charlie horses just the same as calves can (and did often when I was pregnant!). And it's not fun at all. It hurts. But they are easier to stretch out that a leg is.<br />
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4. Stability balls are hilarious! The boys bounce that thing all over the place. Sit ups are a lot easier on them, but weight training one's arms is not.<br />
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5. Pilates is hard! Especially when you add a resistance band. But it's all worth it when you notice the muscles in your upper arm look a little more defined than they used to. Even if the skin is hanging a tad under the arm because of the disappearing fat... :-)<br />
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Starting weight- 227 lbs.<br />
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Weight this morning, after 4 weeks - 210.2 lbs.<br />
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That's nearly 17 lbs! I feel great! It's a little sad that I'm back down to where I "normally" am, because I still have so far to go. But it's better than I was and I'll take it.Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-15232613584257561512012-06-26T10:29:00.001-06:002012-06-26T10:29:28.126-06:00Heading to HealthyI've debated whether or not to write this post for a few weeks. Mostly because I'm scared of failure again and disappointing more than myself, Mark, and my kids. I've started this journey more times than I want to remember, but it only takes once if it's for life, and I'm tired of being on this roller coaster.<br />
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I haven't been officially diagnosed with insulin resistance or prediabetes, but I know my risk. Because I had diabetes so early with Daniel, they said I was likely already prediabetic and I know how lucky I am that my numbers returned to normal after giving birth that last time. And that was 2 1/2 years ago, with little thought during that time to what my health was really like. What were my blood sugars doing? I don't have the slightest idea. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted. I ate because I was happy and because I was depressed and because I was stressed. I ate because my blood sugars were low, even though I couldn't understand why I'd get low blood sugar less than 2 hours after eating if I had issues with insulin while pregnant.<br />
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And then I watched a Sunday special, an Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition. She did it, she lost a lot of weight. And Mark asked me why didn't I just start my low-carb lifestyle again instead of complaining about several problems I had with my weight. I thought, why not? If he can go to school every day, and work, and do homework even though it's all really hard for him, why can't I go back to how I ate when I was pregnant with Daniel and lost weight? (Which was perfectly okay with the doctor, and Daniel was closely monitored via monthly ultrasounds.)<br />
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So I started the South Beach phase 1 again. And I got the updated book, in which he talks about prediabetes a little. Do you know what I learned? That my low blood sugars were indeed a symptom of prediabetes. See, what happens is that my body doesn't respond to normal insulin levels. So it shoots out more and more insulin until the cells finally unlock and the sugar gets into the cells for energy. But because of the amount of insulin it takes, it's stored as mostly fat. And because it's a sudden drop, you get low blood sugar sooner after you've eaten than most people who would take several hours to feel faint. And that information scared me, because what he described was just like how I feel and how I eat and why! But it's reversible at this stage... which makes me so determined to succeed where I've failed so many times. I can't afford the medical care necessary for labs and insulin and everything else diabetes entails. I know. I've had it 3 times.<br />
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The first 3 days were so difficult that I wondered what I'd gotten into. I wasn't hungry as much as I was addicted to the act of eating. I could literally taste the cookie in my mouth, melted gooey chocolate and warm buttery goodness... I wanted the chew of the pasta alfredo. I wanted honey nut crunchety cereal with ice cold milk. But I knew it wasn't going to be easy when I started this. Because it hasn't been easy the other times I've done it. But it's doable. And it gets better. The cravings have to work their way out of my system and my blood sugars have to have the chance to correct themselves.<br />
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10 lbs and 2 weeks later... I can already fit into my "normal" clothes. See, I am back down to what I usually am, and realized how much I had gained in the last year. My stamina has improved and my energy levels are better. If I am craving something, I have a big drink of water. If I'm still craving, then I treat myself to a sugar-free popsicle, or some smoked almonds with sharp cheddar. I'll eat a meal with plenty of fiber in it, lots of veggies, and then I'm good until the next meal. Although I'll sometimes have a snack if I need one, it's a small snack. And I'm not feeling dizzy and hour after eating like I was, which lets me know how serious it was.<br />
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Eating right alone isn't going to take this weight off, since a sedentary lifestyle also helped put it on and keep it there. So I gathered my sneakers and a water bottle, my phone with a stop watch, and and MP3 player... and went for a walk. I walked a mile, and I was sore but it felt good and Mark was so proud of me! After 2 weeks I do a 5 minute walk, followed by intervals of jogging 60 seconds and walking 90 seconds until my legs can't push it farther. It's the Couch to 5 K, but I'm stretching it out because I'm fairly out of shape and don't want to injure myself. I'm up to 5 intervals now, nearly 2 miles including my cool down walk. And it feels great! The days I don't walk, I'm inside doing one of my toning videos like yoga/pilates (which does wonders for my back!) or some resistance training for toned arms, abs, and rear half. They're not long workouts, but I feel them afterwards, and I know they'll pay off!<br />
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I didn't think to take a "before" shot when I started, but I had Mark take one this morning. These aren't photo-shopped or edited in any way, and he got me with my eyes clothes. I would have preferred jeans, but he refused to take it unless I was wearing shorts. Stinker. He also caught me with my eyes closed, but they look awful anyway, so who's counting?<br />
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This is my 5' 2" frame, at a whopping 217 lbs. That's right. And I started at 227, wearing a size nearly 24. (It's 28 square frame right fit pants at fashion bug. Ouch.) I'm now in my size 20 painting pants, 2x shorts, and small waisted 22 pants that I've never liked because the waist is odd. But it's something to cover my hiney. And I am sucking it in a little, because it's embarrassing how much bigger the stomach would be otherwise. I was at the heaviest I've ever been, wearing humongous pants. And I hated it!<br />
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But I'm doing something about it. I'm setting an example for my kids. Mark is trying to eat a little better. And I am feeling better than I have in a long time! Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for a couple wheat crackers with a little low-fat cream cheese and a big slice of fresh tomato. Heaven!Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-12994598982335542092012-06-12T12:07:00.000-06:002012-06-12T12:07:10.323-06:00Words of the Young...As I was cleaning off one of our bookshelves this morning, I came across several notebooks the boys used during school this last year. One of them happened to be Oren's journal from the 1st semester, before we moved to the new house. Some of his entries were grumpy and you could tell that writing every day was not something he was excited about. Some of them were funny, and some were sweet. One was even his version of the day he was born, with several of the details suprisingly right! I guess I tell his story a lot where he can hear.... :-)<br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">August 31, 2011</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I hope this year will be better than last year because I'm nine now. and because I'm nine, I should do better. I'm in 4th grade now, and I have to use the stupid, sticky, gooey, mess making squeezy glue that other people think is the best glue in the world. But I get to learn about IDAHO! and also a new teacher!</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">(He really hates that squeezy glue!)</span></span></span><i><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"> </span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">September 1, 2011</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">This morning while geting ready for school I felt like it was the beginning of another normal day. and it was. normal days are soooooo boring.</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">September 16, 2011</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I would like to go to the Science museum in Boise this weekend. But first, my mom and dad have to agree with buying a card that lets you come for a certian amount of time. I want them to buy the really expencive one that lets you come for a whle year! But we could come when the museum guys put up bouncy castles and let people come in even if they don't have a permision card. The cool thing is that they also put extra things on display! but that only happens once a year. So, I to go there right now because I haven't been there for a long, long time!</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">(</span></span></span></i><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Somehow, I don't remember the bouncy castles!)</span></span></span><i><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">October 4, 2011</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I really, really, really love October because it has our most faverite holiday, Halloween. My dad loves it because he gets to buy lots of super duper scary Halloween decorations and scare people with them. I love it 'case I get to eat lots and lots and lots and lots of candy till mommy catches me.</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">November 2, 2011</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">If I had $100 I would NOT KEEP ANY OF IT for myself. I would give it all away. The people who would get the money would be poor people.</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">(Undated)</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The most important day in my life was when I was born. My grandma was there so she could see her first grandchild be born. My dadd was on the other side of the door so he wouldn't faint by the side of something gross ( I don't know what is.) When I came out, my anbilical cord (which is the tube that takes food that your mommy ate and feeds it to you while you are still developing inside your mother) was wrapped around my neck and choked me back in. The doctor went to get something to vacume me out. My grandma was probably pretty scared because she was screaming something like "Push! You better start pushing that baby out right now!" So my mom pushed me out as hard as she could. Then my anbilical cord was unwrapped from my neck. Then when I came out, I was purple (I turned purple because I wasn't getting enough oxegen)! Then the nurses came in the room to vacume me out, but I was already out, so they said "gess you got him out yourself", then they left. My mom was too tired to answer. What makes that day specail is that there is no other day like it and that it was first miracle of my life.</span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"> </span></i> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">(Not quite how I remember it, but pretty close!)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Written with all his spelling and phrasing choices intact. It's always fun to get a peek at how a child is thinking and feeling! :-) </span></span>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-29425214291464596242012-05-25T22:40:00.001-06:002012-05-25T22:40:15.955-06:00Apologies, and Stuff We've Been Up To!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Wow, it's been so long since I posted on here that blogger has
changed how you do it. That's sad. I apologize for not posting in
several months, and rest assured that I have popped on all the time to
read everyone's blogs, even though I rarely comment lately. I love
seeing what everyone is up to but don't often have the time to write
things myself.<br />
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To cover all the things we've done since I last posted would be an insanely long post. So I'll just do a few!<br />
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In April our ward's cubscouts did their annual Pinewood Derby. We were smart this year and bought some weights, but not enough and had to glue on some change. Oren thought that was pretty funny, and his car weighed in at exactly the 5 oz. limit. <br />
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It was a little boring for some watching cars race over and over and over.<br />
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Here we are at the line up! This was a very fancy track with a computer hooked up that calculated each car's mph, and declared the winner down to 100th of a second!<br />
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Nathan can't wait until next year when he gets to do a car too! Daddy was able to come this time, which the boys loved, and we even had Grandma and Grandpa rooting for our scout. <br />
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The boys have been busy in school with various things. One thing all the 4th graders had to do this year was an Idaho History project. Oren chose to a map of the Oregon Trail. Since there is a state park dedicated to part of the Oregon Trail in Idaho and he had to plan and do a family hike as part of his scout requirements, we killed 2 birds with one stone. We drove the 90 minutes or so (with another 1/2 hour spent at Best Buy before starting out exchanging our broken car dvd player yet again...) and checked out the visitor's center to learn about the trail. <br />
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This photo was a complete accident while I was trying to get a shot of the Snake River. I have no idea how I did it, but I thought it was neat nonetheless.<br />
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This was the view we had on our hike up to the wagon ruts. The trail was nearly a mile one way, but it was paved and easy to walk.<br />
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Then we got to the wagon ruts and hiked around on them for a while. The boys thought it was really neat that they were walking where pioneers walked. Maybe even some of our ancestors made this journey! <br />
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The boys Aunt Tera (the legs in the back) was very happy to be hiking back to the car. She came with us for an extra pair of eyes and hands since I didn't know what the trail conditions would be like and was a little hesitant with it being just myself and all 4 boys. Alone. In the middle of nowhere. They were all a little tired at this point! <br />
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Nathan, trying to hide in some bushes. He didn't realize I have a lot of zoom power on my camera! :-) <br />
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This is one of my favorite shots of the whole day. We drove a little further up the road to Register Rock, where we got to see what is basically a huge rock with lots of names scratched into it by pioneers who camped in the area. <br />
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What I hadn't realized was that they were standing right on the edge of a drop down to this little creek. Let's just say that I was very glad Daniel stayed right by Oren for once!<br />
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There were some large rocks around the site without names on them, so they climbed up on one and I was able to get some nice group shots of them. This is the best of the lot, and the one that went into frames for Grandmas! Grandma W has hers, and Grandma D will have one as soon as I can get it in the mail! <br />
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Our other activities have involved getting the walls of Oren and Nathan's room finished, although that's as far as the decorating has gotten for them. We're still working on the fence, which is going <b>extremely</b> slowly with Mark not having time to dig the 2 remaining holes, or install the panels. My hands can only handle so long with the post-hole digger, or the rock breaker/lever thing, before deciding not to function for 2-3 days at a time. We're also having a time deciding what to plant in our front garden bed, or what trees to put in around the driveway.<br />
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Which is the fun part about owning our own home. We get to plant stuff! And paint stuff! And put holes in walls! The hard part is that while Mark is in school, I am in charge of the kids and the house and the yard. All by myself. He helps when he has the time, but with 300 evergreen plants ranging across 9 zones to memorize in less than 8 weeks, that time is few and far between. And I am only one person who can only do so much! All these grand plans for everything and I am having to learn patience, something I am not good at.<br />
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But I'm learning. And he's learning. And the kids are learning. And that's really what it's all about in the end! <br />
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<span id="goog_1170162220"></span><span id="goog_1170162221"></span>Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9017488281418603767.post-58811662482738956342012-01-26T10:36:00.002-07:002012-01-26T11:31:48.028-07:00Oops!Somehow it's been over a month since I last posted!<br /><br />Let's see.... We had Christmas, which was fun and Daddy had the day off unlike last year. We gauged things just right, and had a laugh when the gift from a sibling topped everything Mom and Dad, and Santa, gave. Zhu Zhu pets apparently go over big with my kids, and she had found a great deal so snapped them up since she had our family for Christmas. We had a huge play area for those things now with all the accessory sets she found for $3. (And there's no poop to scoop like with a regular hamster, my favorite part!)<br /><br />Then we had New Year's. Mark had that off too, so we had his brother and his wife, as well as one of their friends, for games and goodies. Stayed up way too late but had a blast playing a game we've owned for over a year but hadn't ever played yet.<br /><br />The boys started a new school when we came back from Christmas break. New routines, new rules, new friends. My morning starts far earlier than I like, although not nearly as early some people I know. They've adjusted really well and like their teachers. I found out too that since we're a rural school now, when William starts next year he'll be going full day, but the days alternate. So he'll ride a bus to and from with his brothers but he'll only go every other day. We were very happy to learn this since it means I don't have to take him or pick him up like we would have to if he had attended the school in town next year, those kindergartners only ride the bus one way as they are half-day school.<br /><br />Then we had our pink-eye fun. Mark was the only one who didn't get it at all, but he's not home much to pick up fun things from the kids. Once that started to go away, I had a lovely sore throat and the resulting cough is finally starting to clear. I married the best man ever: he didn't fuss about the state of the house, he'd fill the humidifier before I could and get it all set up for me at night, he double checked to make sure I didn't forget my antibiotics... So I payed him back the best way I know how. I made sure his sock drawer was full. :-)<br /><br />Latest is that my dad was over on my side of the state for a job and was able to come visit a couple evenings. True to Dad, a simple house tour turned into going under the house to check out my well pump pressure tank, because our water pressure was really screwy. Turned out that the cut on/cut off switch was bad, so he left instructions on what to get and then came back the next night to crawl back under the house and replace it. Of course, the pressure gauge is off too, which we didn't know until we had a pressure switch with a known cut on/cut off pressure point. But that's a lot easier to replace and is simply so you can observe the pressure, so I'll fix that myself later. We're very grateful that he would take the time to help us with our house, even if that wasn't our intent when we invited him to visit. I had several questions I had wanted to ask him, but wasn't expecting him to fix anything. I also came away with lots of information, which is just as appreciated.<br /><br />I'm itching to paint my bathroom. That's right, the one I asked for opinions on yellow vs blue those weeks ago. Still hasn't been done. But on the docket is also a new skirt- fabric picked up yesterday that I've been in love with for a while, a quilt for Oren who is using a large baby quilt of his brother's currently, picking curtains and comforter for my room... Several organizing projects, the last few boxes to unpack, artwork needs hung. I need to map out the lay of the house, well pipes, septic, leach field, existing fencing and planting, and irrigation sprinklers so we can create the master plan for our landscaping. I need to find or build a bookshelf for my cookbooks. I need to rebuild the shelves in my pantry before they bend in half and break under the weight of the cans.<br /><br />So many things to do, with so little time. Distracting, overwhelming. What to prioritize my time and money on? *Sigh*Michellehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10969268214137270934noreply@blogger.com1