My own personal rollercoaster...

I have learned that I really need to be careful what I wish for. Because I just may get it.

I wished really hard to deliver at St. Lukes this time. I got it, with a great doctor.

I wished for a good doula and a perfect labor/delivery. I got it.

I wished for nursing to work. And I got it. How is this good and bad? Well, for starters, there was the nursing constantly the whole time at the hospital and about a week afterwards. I had no intentions of pacifier use, but I ate my words fairly quickly. Yet I was somehow proud that all he wanted was to be with his momma (and her milk buddies).

But there was the reflux and arching and having to sleep with us at night because he wanted held and was uncomfortable. And then there was the almost 2 months starting around Christmas where he wouldn't nurse unless I was laying down on my side. That was a long 2 months.

And the 2 bad episodes of low milk supply thanks to getting put on my medications. Both of which Fenugreek has saved my sanity. And I had the hardest time getting a hold of more when I ran out, so this last episode was not good at all. But everythings good now, it works wonders. Still, nursing every 30-60 minutes for 2 days straight was not enjoyable.

Why did I do this you may ask? Because the stinker refuses to take bottles! At all! He'll play with it and bite it, but then gets mad that milk comes out. Heaven forbid you offer it when he's starving, because he'll scream the house down until I get home. 3 different bottles, and 5-6 different nipples... I sort of lost count. Breastmilk or formula, doesn't matter. He doesn't want either one. So I don't know what to do with the nearly 30 bags of breastmilk in my freezer.

Of course, nothing really beats my 4month old with the gorgeous eyes pulling off midway through his meal, just to give me a huge, toothless smile, and latch back on. And blowing lovely spitbubbles at me when he's all done. Or the cute way he tries to curl up like a rollie-pollie and chew my shoulder when he's hungry. And yes, I can finally nurse sitting up. The boppy pillow, that he didn't want anything to do with, and that I nearly got rid of, has now become acceptable. So as long as I take it everywhere I go, I can nurse..... good grief. :-)