Heading to Healthy

I've debated whether or not to write this post for a few weeks. Mostly because I'm scared of failure again and disappointing more than myself, Mark, and my kids. I've started this journey more times than I want to remember, but it only takes once if it's for life, and I'm tired of being on this roller coaster.

I haven't been officially diagnosed with insulin resistance or prediabetes, but I know my risk. Because I had diabetes so early with Daniel, they said I was likely already prediabetic and I know how lucky I am that my numbers returned to normal after giving birth that last time. And that was 2 1/2 years ago, with little thought during that time to what my health was really like. What were my blood sugars doing? I don't have the slightest idea. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted. I ate because I was happy and because I was depressed and because I was stressed. I ate because my blood sugars were low, even though I couldn't understand why I'd get low blood sugar less than 2 hours after eating if I had issues with insulin while pregnant.

And then I watched a Sunday special, an Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition. She did it, she lost a lot of weight. And Mark asked me why didn't I just start my low-carb lifestyle again instead of complaining about several problems I had with my weight. I thought, why not? If he can go to school every day, and work, and do homework even though it's all really hard for him, why can't I go back to how I ate when I was pregnant with Daniel and lost weight? (Which was perfectly okay with the doctor, and Daniel was closely monitored via monthly ultrasounds.)

So I started the South Beach phase 1 again. And I got the updated book, in which he talks about prediabetes a little. Do you know what I learned? That my low blood sugars were indeed a symptom of prediabetes. See, what happens is that my body doesn't respond to normal insulin levels. So it shoots out more and more insulin until the cells finally unlock and the sugar gets into the cells for energy. But because of the amount of insulin it takes, it's stored as mostly fat. And because it's a sudden drop, you get low blood sugar sooner after you've eaten than most people who would take several hours to feel faint. And that information scared me, because what he described was just like how I feel and how I eat and why! But it's reversible at this stage... which makes me so determined to succeed where I've failed so many times. I can't afford the medical care necessary for labs and insulin and everything else diabetes entails. I know. I've had it 3 times.

The first 3 days were so difficult that I wondered what I'd gotten into. I wasn't hungry as much as I was addicted to the act of eating. I could literally taste the cookie in my mouth, melted gooey chocolate and warm buttery goodness... I wanted the chew of the pasta alfredo. I wanted honey nut crunchety cereal with ice cold milk. But I knew it wasn't going to be easy when I started this. Because it hasn't been easy the other times I've done it. But it's doable. And it gets better. The cravings have to work their way out of my system and my blood sugars have to have the chance to correct themselves.

10 lbs and 2 weeks later... I can already fit into my "normal" clothes. See, I am back down to what I usually am, and realized how much I had gained in the last year. My stamina has improved and my energy levels are better. If I am craving something, I have a big drink of water. If I'm still craving, then I treat myself to a sugar-free popsicle, or some smoked almonds with sharp cheddar. I'll eat a meal with plenty of fiber in it, lots of veggies, and then I'm good until the next meal. Although I'll sometimes have a snack if I need one, it's a small snack. And I'm not feeling dizzy and hour after eating like I was, which lets me know how serious it was.

Eating right alone isn't going to take this weight off, since a sedentary lifestyle also helped put it on and keep it there. So I gathered my sneakers and a water bottle, my phone with a stop watch, and and MP3 player... and went for a walk. I walked a mile, and I was sore but it felt good and Mark was so proud of me! After 2 weeks I do a 5 minute walk, followed by intervals of jogging 60 seconds and walking 90 seconds until my legs can't push it farther. It's the Couch to 5 K, but I'm stretching it out because I'm fairly out of shape and don't want to injure myself. I'm up to 5 intervals now, nearly 2 miles including my cool down walk. And it feels great! The days I don't walk, I'm inside doing one of my toning videos like yoga/pilates (which does wonders for my back!) or some resistance training for toned arms, abs, and rear half. They're not long workouts, but I feel them afterwards, and I know they'll pay off!

 I didn't think to take a "before" shot when I started, but I had Mark take one this morning. These aren't photo-shopped or edited in any way, and he got me with my eyes clothes. I would have preferred jeans, but he refused to take it unless I was wearing shorts. Stinker. He also caught me with my eyes closed, but they look awful anyway, so who's counting?

This is my 5' 2" frame, at a whopping 217 lbs. That's right. And I started at 227, wearing a size nearly 24. (It's 28 square frame right fit pants at fashion bug. Ouch.) I'm now in my size 20 painting pants, 2x shorts, and small waisted 22 pants that I've never liked because the waist is odd. But it's something to cover my hiney. And I am sucking it in a little, because it's embarrassing how much bigger the stomach would be otherwise. I was at the heaviest I've ever been, wearing humongous pants. And I hated it!

But I'm doing something about it. I'm setting an example for my kids. Mark is trying to eat a little better. And I am feeling better than I have in a long time! Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for a couple wheat crackers with a little low-fat cream cheese and a big slice of fresh tomato. Heaven!

Words of the Young...

As I was cleaning off one of our bookshelves this morning, I came across several notebooks the boys used during school this last year. One of them happened to be Oren's journal from the 1st semester, before we moved to the new house. Some of his entries were grumpy and you could tell that writing every day was not something he was excited about. Some of them were funny, and some were sweet. One was even his version of the day he was born, with several of the details suprisingly right! I guess I tell his story a lot where he can hear.... :-)

August 31, 2011

I hope this year will be better than last year because I'm nine now. and because I'm nine, I should do better. I'm in 4th grade now, and I have to use the stupid, sticky, gooey, mess making squeezy glue that other people think is the best glue in the world. But I get to learn about IDAHO! and also a new teacher!

(He really hates that squeezy glue!)

September 1, 2011

This morning while geting ready for school I felt like it was the beginning of another normal day. and it was. normal days are soooooo boring.


September 16, 2011

I would like to go to the Science museum in Boise this weekend. But first, my mom and dad have to agree with buying a card that lets you come for a certian amount of time. I want them to buy the really expencive one that lets you come for a whle year! But we could come when the museum guys put up bouncy castles and let people come in even if they don't have a permision card. The cool thing is that they also put extra things on display! but that only happens once a year. So, I to go there right now because I haven't been there for a long, long time!


(Somehow, I don't remember the bouncy castles!)



October 4, 2011


I really, really, really love October because it has our most faverite holiday, Halloween. My dad loves it because he gets to buy lots of super duper scary Halloween decorations and scare people with them. I love it 'case I get to eat lots and lots and lots and lots of candy till mommy catches me.




November 2, 2011


If I had $100 I would NOT KEEP ANY OF IT for myself. I would give it all away. The people who would get the money would be poor people.






(Undated)


The most important day in my life was when I was born. My grandma was there so she could see her first grandchild be born. My dadd was on the other side of the door so he wouldn't faint by the side of something gross ( I  don't know what is.) When I came out, my anbilical cord (which is the tube that takes food that your mommy ate and feeds it to you while you are still developing inside your mother) was wrapped around my neck and choked me back in. The doctor went to get something to vacume me out. My grandma was probably pretty scared because she was screaming something like "Push! You better start pushing that baby out right now!" So my mom pushed me out as hard as she could. Then my anbilical cord was unwrapped from my neck. Then when I came out, I was purple (I turned purple because I wasn't getting enough oxegen)! Then the nurses came in the room to vacume me out, but I was already out, so they said "gess you got him out yourself", then they left. My mom was too tired to answer. What makes that day specail is that there is no other day like it and that it was first miracle of my life.

  (Not quite how I remember it, but pretty close!)

Written with all his spelling and phrasing choices intact. It's always fun to get a peek at how a child is thinking and feeling! :-)

Apologies, and Stuff We've Been Up To!

Wow, it's been so long since I posted on here that blogger has changed how you do it. That's sad. I apologize for not posting in several months, and rest assured that I have popped on all the time to read everyone's blogs, even though I rarely comment lately. I love seeing what everyone is up to but don't often have the time to write things myself.

To cover all the things we've done since I last posted would be an insanely long post. So I'll just do a few!


In April our ward's cubscouts did their annual Pinewood Derby. We were smart this year and bought some weights, but not enough and had to glue on some change. Oren thought that was pretty funny, and his car weighed in at exactly the 5 oz. limit. 

 It was a little boring for some watching cars race over and over and over.

Here we are at the line up! This was a very fancy track with a computer hooked up that calculated each car's mph, and declared the winner down to 100th of a second!

Nathan can't wait until next year when he gets to do a car too! Daddy was able to come this time, which the boys loved, and we even had Grandma and Grandpa rooting for our scout. 

The boys have been busy in school with various things. One thing all the 4th graders had to do this year was an Idaho History project. Oren chose to a map of the Oregon Trail. Since there is a state park dedicated to part of the Oregon Trail in Idaho and he had to plan and do a family hike as part of his scout requirements, we killed 2 birds with one stone. We drove the 90 minutes or so (with another 1/2 hour spent at Best Buy before starting out exchanging our broken car dvd player yet again...) and checked out the visitor's center to learn about the trail.

 This photo was a complete accident while I was trying to get a shot of the Snake River. I have no idea how I did it, but I thought it was neat nonetheless.

 This was the view we had on our hike up to the wagon ruts. The trail was nearly a mile one way, but it was paved and easy to walk.

Then we got to the wagon ruts and hiked around on them for a while. The boys thought it was really neat that they were walking where pioneers walked. Maybe even some of our ancestors made this journey! 

The boys Aunt Tera (the legs in the back) was very happy to be hiking back to the car. She came with us for an extra pair of eyes and hands since I didn't know what the trail conditions would be like and was a little hesitant with it being just myself and all 4 boys. Alone. In the middle of nowhere. They were all a little tired at this point!

Nathan, trying to hide in some bushes. He didn't realize I have a lot of zoom power on my camera! :-)

This is one of my favorite shots of the whole day. We drove a little further up the road to Register Rock, where we got to see what is basically a huge rock with lots of names scratched into it by pioneers who camped in the area. 

What I hadn't realized was that they were standing right on the edge of a drop down to this little creek. Let's just say that I was very glad Daniel stayed right by Oren for once!

There were some large rocks around the site without names on them, so they climbed up on one and I was able to get some nice group shots of them. This is the best of the lot, and the one that went into frames for Grandmas! Grandma W has hers, and Grandma D will have one as soon as I can get it in the mail!

Our other activities have involved getting the walls of Oren and Nathan's room finished, although that's as far as the decorating has gotten for them. We're still working on the fence, which is going extremely slowly with Mark not having time to dig the 2 remaining holes, or install the panels. My hands can only handle so long with the post-hole digger, or the rock breaker/lever thing, before deciding not to function for 2-3 days at a time. We're also having a time deciding what to plant in our front garden bed, or what trees to put in around the driveway.

Which is the fun part about owning our own home. We get to plant stuff! And paint stuff! And put holes in walls! The hard part is that while Mark is in school, I am in charge of the kids and the house and the yard. All by myself. He helps when he has the time, but with 300 evergreen plants ranging across 9 zones to memorize in less than 8 weeks, that time is few and far between. And I am only one person who can only do so much! All these grand plans for everything and I am having to learn patience, something I am not good at.

But I'm learning. And he's learning. And the kids are learning. And that's really what it's all about in the end! 

Oops!

Somehow it's been over a month since I last posted!

Let's see.... We had Christmas, which was fun and Daddy had the day off unlike last year. We gauged things just right, and had a laugh when the gift from a sibling topped everything Mom and Dad, and Santa, gave. Zhu Zhu pets apparently go over big with my kids, and she had found a great deal so snapped them up since she had our family for Christmas. We had a huge play area for those things now with all the accessory sets she found for $3. (And there's no poop to scoop like with a regular hamster, my favorite part!)

Then we had New Year's. Mark had that off too, so we had his brother and his wife, as well as one of their friends, for games and goodies. Stayed up way too late but had a blast playing a game we've owned for over a year but hadn't ever played yet.

The boys started a new school when we came back from Christmas break. New routines, new rules, new friends. My morning starts far earlier than I like, although not nearly as early some people I know. They've adjusted really well and like their teachers. I found out too that since we're a rural school now, when William starts next year he'll be going full day, but the days alternate. So he'll ride a bus to and from with his brothers but he'll only go every other day. We were very happy to learn this since it means I don't have to take him or pick him up like we would have to if he had attended the school in town next year, those kindergartners only ride the bus one way as they are half-day school.

Then we had our pink-eye fun. Mark was the only one who didn't get it at all, but he's not home much to pick up fun things from the kids. Once that started to go away, I had a lovely sore throat and the resulting cough is finally starting to clear. I married the best man ever: he didn't fuss about the state of the house, he'd fill the humidifier before I could and get it all set up for me at night, he double checked to make sure I didn't forget my antibiotics... So I payed him back the best way I know how. I made sure his sock drawer was full. :-)

Latest is that my dad was over on my side of the state for a job and was able to come visit a couple evenings. True to Dad, a simple house tour turned into going under the house to check out my well pump pressure tank, because our water pressure was really screwy. Turned out that the cut on/cut off switch was bad, so he left instructions on what to get and then came back the next night to crawl back under the house and replace it. Of course, the pressure gauge is off too, which we didn't know until we had a pressure switch with a known cut on/cut off pressure point. But that's a lot easier to replace and is simply so you can observe the pressure, so I'll fix that myself later. We're very grateful that he would take the time to help us with our house, even if that wasn't our intent when we invited him to visit. I had several questions I had wanted to ask him, but wasn't expecting him to fix anything. I also came away with lots of information, which is just as appreciated.

I'm itching to paint my bathroom. That's right, the one I asked for opinions on yellow vs blue those weeks ago. Still hasn't been done. But on the docket is also a new skirt- fabric picked up yesterday that I've been in love with for a while, a quilt for Oren who is using a large baby quilt of his brother's currently, picking curtains and comforter for my room... Several organizing projects, the last few boxes to unpack, artwork needs hung. I need to map out the lay of the house, well pipes, septic, leach field, existing fencing and planting, and irrigation sprinklers so we can create the master plan for our landscaping. I need to find or build a bookshelf for my cookbooks. I need to rebuild the shelves in my pantry before they bend in half and break under the weight of the cans.

So many things to do, with so little time. Distracting, overwhelming. What to prioritize my time and money on? *Sigh*

Movin' On In!

We finally have internet again, so I can sit down between unpacking boxes and finishing Christmas gifts, and jot down an update!

Moving day went really smoothly thanks to several handy-if-not-happy-to-be-lifting-heavy-boxes helpers. We got the biggest truck Uhaul had available and loaded it to the very top. Plus several van loads of miscellaneous stuff that had to stay at the apartment as we cleaned it, or pictures, or curtains... all that last minute junk. The loading took about 2 hours, and unloading about the same. Things were organized enough that by the time Mark got back from returning the truck, my sister-in-law and I had put together ALL the beds, including bedding! As well as moved around furniture so there was a place to sit and rest.

In the mornings we tried putting the house together, which for the first few days involved trips to the hardware store to find dryer vents, dryer cords, well filter replacements, prices on fridges, and boxes of Magic Erasers. Boxes were rapidly emptied and broken down flat to be taken to the grocery store's box crusher at some point.

In the afternoons we headed over to the old apartment to clean and scrub and wipe and sneeze and vacuum and patch holes. We had been told not to shampoo because they'd do the carpets anyway when we left. Then there was a new manager who did the walk through, and told us that if we had cleaned them ourselves she would have called it good! Ugh! That would have saved us a good $75 of our deposit! But by that time we were just ready to be done and agreed to have them shampooed by professionals. If we ever rent again, there are certain things I will have in writing before signing a lease. Period. Other than the shampooing, paint, and a few sets of blinds, everything looked good.

While unloading the truck, I set aside all the Christmas decor, so we pulled out the tree and decorated it as a family Sunday evening. Very simply done so Daniel would have less to break, and suprisingly he's leaving it alone! Stockings have been hung by the wood-burning stove with care on the nails that the old owners kindly left there. :-)

Soot, by the way, sticks to everything and has to be scrubbed off of skin with soap and a loofah. But it hadn't been cleaned since last winter and was very dusty, ash all over inside, and soot clinging to the glass on the doors. We couldn't get a fire to stay lit in there until I cleaned it out thoroughly the other day, and now a decent fire will heat most of the house for an entire evening. Mark even has an axe so he can cut the wood down to size from the local lumber yard. They sell leftovers from the huge logs they use to make log cabins, and you can load your car and pay by the cubic foot. Walking into the house to the smell of a fire going is wonderful and toasty warm! Mark grew up with a stove, so he's in heaven...

And.... we've been picking out paint! One of the bedrooms is bright pink. And although William actually likes it, we'd rather have a room with a more masculine feel to it. Samples have been purchased and painted on the wall, and the colors chosen for wall and trim. Now, before I decide it's too much work, we just have to borrow a ladder and prime the walls!

Ah, for a garage!

It dawned on Mark and I the other day, that moves I remember as a child, the military packed everything up. Except moving to Oklahoma, but I don't remember much about that as far as boxes are concerned. Our move from Rexburg to Rigby as newlyweds didn't involve much packing as we didn't have much yet.

Even moving from off base in England to on base, we had the movers who came and boxed everything, drove it to the base, and dropped it off at the new house. Spoiled? Maybe a little.

For the first time, I am attempting a major move without any outside mover help. Collecting boxes that were luckily saved from our move here, my sister-in-law's move here, and the local grocery store and discovering Mark was smart enough to save a huge bunch of packing paper. I've got flat boxes stored in several nooks and crannies, and packed ones stacked in the living room, bedrooms, and closets. We've been through several rolls of tape and still have more to go.

The hard part, other than all the crazy over getting the loan which is a complete blog post in and of itself that will not get written for a while because I'm still suffering residual stress, is living with the boxes everywhere! If we took Mark's mom's offer to store them in her garage, then the elder's quorum would have to help with the furniture here, and then go to her house and load boxes there too. With only 9 days to go it's just easier to leave them here. But our life is now stepping around box piles! I plan on taking a picture the day before moving day, because we'll be packing things like clothes and last minute stuff we'll be using until it goes into the box, and the house will be full. All the chaos will be worth it to unpack in our own place, but for now, I sure wish we had our own garage to stick all these dratted boxes!

A little house tour

So, it's not officially our house yet, but I thought I'd post some of the rooms I get to play with. Yes, the house is small. But our budget was even smaller, and the selection was tinier still. So we are going to make the best of what's out there and plan on spending a lot of time outside in the yard this summer!


Here is my living room, with my happy little helper. William was great about holding the measuring tape for me while we were there for the inspection, so I could get a head start on furniture arrangements. There is a large, stone hearth in the corner past where William is standing that houses a wood burning stove for an alternate heat source. And when I say large, I mean 5 feet by 5 feet! That's 25 sq ft of my living room!



Pink bedroom #1. This will be Oren and Nathan's room. The walls are going to get a coat of paint in some boyish color, and the closet doors are likely going to come off. I'm thinking a curtain instead. Not sure yet though.



Pink room #2! Very pink, with dark green carpet- the same carpet is in the master bedroom but those photos turned out quite dark. This one is William and Daniel's since theirs will need to house more toys, and it's a tad bigger than the other room. Both rooms have ceiling fans, which will be a lifesaver in the summer with no AC. I'm thinking a pale green on this wall because of the green carpet. Very soothing. Again, not 100% sure yet.



My kitchen! Is it pretty or what?! So much more space than I have right now, with room for a bigger fridge when finances allow. The light fixture isn't quite my style, but works and provides enough light for now. Considering the square footage of the house, the kitchen is very large. But since I spend the majority of my day in the kitchen, it makes sense to make it an enjoyable room. It's also one of the most expensive to renovate, which makes me glad that the cabinets, counters, and floors have already been updated.



And this is just because it was cute, if you'll ignore the pile of laundry in the background. Daniel was exhausted tonight and passed out on the couch beside me. Our cat, Shadow, generally avoids sitting near the boys. But with Daniel safely asleep and unaware that his favorite toy has climbed up on the couch, Shadow snuggled up close and fell asleep too.

Shadow, by the way, was very aptly named. He gets stepped on. A lot. Poor kitty....