Monday, April 21, 2008

Grateful

Thank you everyone for your comments and suggestions. They really helped me, it's nice to know I have such supportive family.

It has been in the back of mind now for a while that his meds are going to need adjusted. The logical part of me is okay with that. I have talked to the bishop before about putting him on it to begin with. He actually works with children and adolescents that abuse and injure people and animals, steal, end up in jail, generally make bad decisions. Some of them started out like Oren, with some developmental issues, others were abused as children. He commented how different some of these children would be if there parents had worked with teachers and doctors like we have, and given their children the help we are trying to give Oren. He fully supports us, and talks to us all the time about how Oren is doing and how we are doing. He is a great bishop!

I think part of Mark's issue is that he doesn't really understand how an ADHD child's brain works. That it isn't "too much sugar" or "not enough sleep". Those things can make the underlying problem worse, but are not the sole cause of the behavioral issues. There are chemicals missing from his brain that control impulsive behavior and the ability to filter out distractions. I also privately believe that he may be very mildly autistic, as the two go hand in hand, and it seems more like he isn't easily distracted as much as he CANNOT filter it out and is overstimulated in a bad way by things going around him. He seemed relieved when they seperated him from the rest of the kid's desks. It is too much for him. I haven't got that officially diagnosed, maybe I'll deal with that later. So Mark finds it hard to believe that a medicine would "fix" the problem, even though he does notice the difference when I forget the meds. Or give them to him later in the morning and he can see the "before" and "after". It helped that we did a conference with Oren's teacher, and she could show him examples of Oren's work. That struck a note with him.

I just need to stop feeling guilty, and letting my mommy brain interfere with my other one, the one that says modern medicine is a wonderful thing and these meds are getting better and easier on kids, and make a call to the doctor. The longer I wait the harder it is on Oren. This morning was just really rough for some reason, and I just needed the reassurance that I am doing the right thing with him. I feel okay about more meds, not that I am jumping for joy, but I know it will only help him. Thank you guys for being there...

3 comments:

Rachel H. said...

Any time...hope things start to go better and that you're able to come together on this issue. I can see where Mark is coming from, but at the same time, I think you have the best interest in your children and WOULDN'T do something to harm them--that means a lot and I think sometimes husbands just need to trust the motherly instinct! :)

Calista said...

I didn't comment on your huge decision, mostly because I don't have any personal experience to fall back on. I do remember Brad and Mariah being on meds but, not being a parent at the time, I don't feel like I was as involved in what went on with that, or the difficulties that Mom and Dad went through in making those decisions. I do understand the complications of a chemical imbalance, though, and if the meds help him to be able to cope with that then I don't see a problem with it. I really believe that if you have sought out in your heart with your husband and your Heavenly Father for the right action to take, with the advice of the doctors, teachers, and bishop involved, then you shouldn't allow yourself to worry further about judgement coming at you from other quarters. You're doing what you feel is right with all the information you have at hand, and that's the very best that any parent can do in any situation with their child. You're only borrowing trouble to let yourself get weighed down by judgements from others who may not have all the facts that you do.

Karen said...

Speaking of not being able to filter out "stuff"...Brad has always been distracted by the sound of a clock ticking. If he went in a room to read or sleep, he would take the clock off the wall and put it under a pile of blankets or out of the room so he couldn't hear it. One time we had a pendulum clock in the living room and the pendulum and the tick were off. He took off the pendulum and hid it. Sometimes it was very comical, I felt bad for him (that the ticking was so bothersome)