Thank you everyone for your comments and suggestions. They really helped me, it's nice to know I have such supportive family.
It has been in the back of mind now for a while that his meds are going to need adjusted. The logical part of me is okay with that. I have talked to the bishop before about putting him on it to begin with. He actually works with children and adolescents that abuse and injure people and animals, steal, end up in jail, generally make bad decisions. Some of them started out like Oren, with some developmental issues, others were abused as children. He commented how different some of these children would be if there parents had worked with teachers and doctors like we have, and given their children the help we are trying to give Oren. He fully supports us, and talks to us all the time about how Oren is doing and how we are doing. He is a great bishop!
I think part of Mark's issue is that he doesn't really understand how an ADHD child's brain works. That it isn't "too much sugar" or "not enough sleep". Those things can make the underlying problem worse, but are not the sole cause of the behavioral issues. There are chemicals missing from his brain that control impulsive behavior and the ability to filter out distractions. I also privately believe that he may be very mildly autistic, as the two go hand in hand, and it seems more like he isn't easily distracted as much as he CANNOT filter it out and is overstimulated in a bad way by things going around him. He seemed relieved when they seperated him from the rest of the kid's desks. It is too much for him. I haven't got that officially diagnosed, maybe I'll deal with that later. So Mark finds it hard to believe that a medicine would "fix" the problem, even though he does notice the difference when I forget the meds. Or give them to him later in the morning and he can see the "before" and "after". It helped that we did a conference with Oren's teacher, and she could show him examples of Oren's work. That struck a note with him.
I just need to stop feeling guilty, and letting my mommy brain interfere with my other one, the one that says modern medicine is a wonderful thing and these meds are getting better and easier on kids, and make a call to the doctor. The longer I wait the harder it is on Oren. This morning was just really rough for some reason, and I just needed the reassurance that I am doing the right thing with him. I feel okay about more meds, not that I am jumping for joy, but I know it will only help him. Thank you guys for being there...